the more I find Jesus, the more I find myself

Finding Beauty in Humility

2011-11-14T11:29:00.000-08:00

Psalm 149:4 - For the Lord takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the humble with victory.

When I first read this verse I was overwhelmed by the thought that God takes pleasure in me! He finds joy from my life as I seek to honor Him! That thought alone reminds me that He is the only one I should be concerned with impressing. It goes on to say that I will be made beautiful with success if I remain humble. That is my heart's desire - to remain effective and efficient to reach success in the areas God has called me to. I want to be made beautiful radiant of victory in Jesus.

Lord, help me to always stay humble. Rid me of any pride and cleanse my heart. May I be marked by my humility and submission to you. Thank you for taking pleasure in me. My heart is so encouraged to know that I delight you in the way I honor you. I love you more than words can say.

At Just the Right Time

2011-11-07T14:44:00.000-08:00

Galatians 5:16, 6:9 - I say then: Walk in the Spirit and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. ... And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap a great harvest if we do not lose heart.

Paul's advice to the Galatians is so timely. Lately I've been reflecting on the desires of my flesh, especially in the area of romantic relationships. I had a rather startling encounter at our graduate student boat cruise where a very forward and rude guy wouldn't take hints to leave me alone, which is unfortunate on a boat where there are very few places to hide before being found. Although it's actually quite laughable now, it made my sympathetic to the girls out there who put themselves in these situations by going to bars and end up settling for any guy who gives them a second glance.

More than anything it broke my heart for the girls who sell themselves short because they are conditioned to use their bodies to get the affection they were created to crave. They pretend they can be just as tough as guys and be physically intimate without forming any other connection, whether emotionally or mentally. Yet this is a lie from the pit of hell that has invaded our society and goes against the very way God designed us to live. God is the only one who can fulfill the desire for intimacy and affection that He created in us. This is something I've experienced so purely in my life. But it's easy to get discouraged and forget that Jesus is my ultimate lover. I tend to grow tired of doing what is right in this area of life. Yet experiences like these remind me that surrendering the pen to my love story is one of the best decisions I've ever made. Verse like this one remind me that at just the right time I will receive the blessing of earthly romance.

Lord thank you for caring about every detail of my life. I trust your perfect timing. Help me to see the purpose behind your timing in connection to my calling. Help me to be willing to wait even longer if it means that my life purpose in empowering young women to find their value in you is enhanced by my singleness. Give me the strength to continually walk in the Spirit. I love you.

Distracted by the Details

2011-10-31T14:38:00.000-07:00

Mark 8:21 - So He said to them, "How is it you do not understand?"

The disciples were blinded by their physical needs at times unable to see beyond the here and now. Jesus was trying to share a spiritual principle with them and they were caught up in the fact that they forgot to bring bread again. Jesus was trying to teach them not to worry about the little things, because God would provide, just as He did for the multitudes. God would take care of the details, if they would just walk in obedience and remain faithful to their calling. By surrendering the details to God, they would be free to see and understand the spiritual principles along the way.

I know this can be taken to extremes where we fail to plan or notice any details because we think God will take care of them. That's not what I think God is speaking to me right now. My tendency is to get caught planning every detail that I end up planning details that God never intended to happen, thus forfeiting His beautiful details that I failed to surrender control of. I never want to be distracted by details that I miss the very thing God's calling me to in that moment. I have a past tendency to do that and it can easily creep back into my life. I pray this time it would be different.

Lord, I surrender control of the details to you. Give me the discernment and strength to know how, where, and when to get involved. Correct me where I am wrong in stepping out of bounds. Please send a check in my spirit so I know if I'm trying to regain control of the details. I love you with all my heart and I want to honor you in every detail of my life.

Available at the Right Time

2011-10-28T14:31:00.000-07:00

Mark 1:18 - They immediately left their nets and followed Him.

All of Jesus' disciples were in the midst of doing something when Jesus called them. They were all busy living their lives, not simply waiting for the next thing to happen. They weren't sitting around doing nothing so that they could be ready when God called them to do something. No, they weren't idle, instead they made themselves available when the time was right. They weren't too caught up in the dailyness of life that they couldn't pause for an interruption.

We don't always see things the way God does. We tend to see certain things as a waste of time when we could be doing something more significant. Yet it's out of the dailyness of life that Jesus calls us to even bigger things It's not a matter of waiting around for a big assignment but rather being available and open to interruption when a big assignment comes along. I tend to get impatient in the dailyness of life, so much so that I often try to step ahead of the Lord. I also don't like interruptions, which is why I try to do things on my own terms and time schedule. God has been teaching me to let go of these tendencies, yet sometimes they creep back in.

Lord, help me to keep my emotions in check and to never rush ahead of you, especially in direction I'm not even sure you're taking me.

My Heart is Overwhelmed

2011-10-25T13:47:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 2:8 - For He guards the course of the just and protects the way of His faithful ones.

I love spending time in God's presence because I'm always reminded of His sweet faithfulness in my life. Today as I was driving home I was thinking about how wonderful it is to be in a season of singleness. I don't think I ever appreciated it as much as I do right now in this season of life. There have been many seasons where I've had my eyes set on a certain guy out of impatience for God to fulfill the desire for marriage He's placed in my heart. There have also been many seasons of downright bitterness when I would hold pity parties in honor of my singleness. I would feel so incredibly sorry for myself and so upset that God didn't give me any opportunities to experience the exciting world of dating. Thankfully, I never acted upon these feelings, but rather turned my frustration to the Lord, who always redirected my focus back to Him and what He called me to in that season.

I cannot begin to describe how challenging and frustrating those many long moments were. Yet God so faithfully protected me. He protected me from my own desires, to the point that I'm sure it hurt Him to see me in such a state of bitterness and rejection. He protected me from ever having to experience a broken heart. He never allowed me to go any further than basic friendship with a guy, even when I so desperately wanted more. I am so very grateful for His protection of my heart and my emotions. I used to be so concerned with one day getting married without any real experience with guys. Yet as I look back on my life these last 5 years, I see how perfectly the Lord has been preparing me for future marriage. He has given me so many wonderful guy friends that I've learned from without having to date any of them. He's taught me how to interact and deal with guys because of my experience serving in ministry with them. Honestly, I could not have even come close to dreaming up this perfect preparation for marriage. I am so grateful for God's protection in my life in the area of romance. And I am so content with where He has me right now. I have no concern or worry for my future marriage. God has been faithful so far, that I have no doubt He will continue to be faithful in the area of earthly romance. My heart is overwhelmed by His perfect love for me.

Thank you Lord for not fulfilling every desire when I desire it. Thank you for your protection of my heart. Continue to teach me to guard my heart and learn how to be friends with guys without any future expectation. Be with my future husband right this very moment and prepare our hearts for each other. Please open his eyes before you open mine, so that I can be pursued solely by him and not by my own desires. I surrender him to you and pray that my eyes be opened to him in your perfect way and time. I love you with all my heart.

Sensitive to the Spirit

2011-10-21T13:41:00.000-07:00

Acts 14:9 - This man heard Paul speaking, Paul, observing him intently and seeing that he had faith to be healed,"...

Paul was so sensitive to the heart of the Holy Spirit. During his sermon in Lystra, he saw this man sitting who had no strength in his feet, listening to the Gospel message. He saw that he had the faith to be healed because he believed in the power and grace of Jesus Christ. I want to be sensitive to the faith of those around me. I don't want to miss an opportunity where the Holy Spirit is working. That man's faith wasn't only for him, but also for all those around him. Lord give me the discernment of Paul. Help me to see you working and join you in it.

Refreshing Rest

2011-09-26T13:33:00.000-07:00

Luke 9:32 - Peter and the others had fallen asleep. When they woke up, they saw Jesus' glory and the two men standing with Him.

Jesus and his disciples had been together for a couple years now. Their ministry was thriving and the crowds who followed them continued to grow. Jesus knew the cross was ahead of him and he began speaking about it to his disciples, who didn't understand the urgency of it. They didn't realize how little time they had left with Jesus. Because of their thriving ministry, any moments away from the crowds were used to rest - even moments when Jesus brought them away to pray. They could hardly keep their eyes open.

I've been in times of intense yet wonderful ministry. I look forward to being alone and able to rest. Often if my rest was interrupted I would be caught of guard and like Peter I would most likely blurt out something without thinking. This is not to say that rest is bad. God mandates us to rest and refuel in His presence. Rather, I think my rest is not the right kind of rest. Often it is rest that distracts me and takes my mind off everything God is doing in my life, like winding down by watching TV. God longs to give me rest that not only restores my body by also restores my soul. The Holy Spirit knows exactly what I need and when I need it because He can see things that I cannot see. If Peter and the others had found their "rest" in the presence of Jesus, they would have gleaned so much more from the transfiguration they witnessed. Their bodies and their souls would have been restored.

Lord help me to find rest in your presence and not from the absence of it. Change my perspective of what rest looks like. Thank you for the rest you have blessed me with this week in each moment spent with dear friends. Refresh my soul and renew your ministry through me. I love you.

Clear Communicated Heart

2011-09-09T13:25:00.000-07:00

Obadiah 1:6 - "Oh, how Esau shall be searched out! How his hidden treasures shall be sought after!"

Obadiah writes about the judgment on the Edomites. They were the descendants of Esau, Jacob's brother, essentially cousins to the Israelites. Although they were family, they treated the Israelites like enemies. In their time of need they made life harder for the Israelites. Although Esau forgave Jacob for stealing his birthright, he descendants never let it go. They not so secretly hated the Israelites, even though they were family. It's unfortunate that Esau's forgiveness didn't get passed down to his family. It gives us an idea of how poor his leadership was. He didn't successfully communicate and instill his values to his family. His former bitterness toward his brother outweighed his act of forgiveness.

I find this so interesting. So much pain and misfortune could have been avoided for the Edomites if Esau had clearly communicated his heart to them. Even if he had truly changed from his extension of forgiveness, his life example to his family wasn't enough to influence them permanently. The same is true for me. No matter how wonderfully my example and how strong my intentions, if my heart is not clearly communicated and captured, my legacy is cut short. I can see this in my influence on the girls I've mentored. When I tolerate the little things in their lives, the message of closeness to Christ doesn't stick.

It's so easy to allow things in other's lives to continue without addressing them because it's easier not to say anything, plus you never want to come across as holding them to too high of a standard. yet if we truly loved them we would do everything we could to convey our heart to them. Lord help me to see where I am compromising in communicating my heart. Give me the wisdom to become a better a communicator.

Deep Compassion

2011-09-09T13:19:00.000-07:00

Lamentations 1:16 - "For these things I weep; My eye, my eye overflows with water; Because the comforter who should restore my life, Is far from me."

Jeremiah weeps for his people who have been carried off by the Babylonians. His heart is heavy for them as God turns His back on them because they did not repent. I am amazed at Jeremiah's compassionate and selfless heart. He weeps for the very people that rejected him and his message of warning from the Lord. He knew precisely how many opportunities God gave them to repent and be obedient, yet he still grieves for them and the choice they made.

I don't know how he does it. I like to think in terms of cause and effect. If someone does something dumb, they will have to deal with the consequences of what comes next. Of course there are instances when grace can be extended. But in Jeremiah's case, I am amazed at how much sympathy he extends - so much so that he writes an entire book on his laments.

Oh Lord, give me that kind of deep compassion for the people you've called me to reach. May I never grow weary of loving people even when they continue to make foolish decisions. Give me a heart like Jeremiah's that intercedes on behalf of people, no matter if they are deserving of it or not. Give me a heart of deep compassion for the lost. Continue to develop in me love and responsibility for the young women you've called me to reach. I love you.

Unconditional Obedience

2011-08-29T11:44:00.000-07:00

Ezekiel 3:11 - "Speak to them and tell them, 'Thus says the Lord God,' whether they hear, or whether they refuse."

Like Jeremiah, Ezekiel was sent to the rebellious Israelites. God had forewarned them both that they would not be very popular as prophets. Their message would be rejected by almost everyone, yet God still asked them to go. Their obedience wasn't to be dependent upon the response of those they were called to reach.

This is such an important truth to be grasped. My obedience to my calling is not dependent upon the reaction of those I'm called to reach. It is discouraging when people don't respond positively, but like Ezekiel, I must find my encouragement in the Lord, not the people around me.

Oh Lord, give m a renewed passion for my calling. Break my heart for your precious young daughters who are looking for value in all the wrong places.

Acting on His Behalf

2011-08-25T11:38:00.000-07:00

Jeremiah 39:18 - "For I will surely deliver you, and you shall not fall by the sword; but your life shall be a prize to you, because you have put your trust in Me," says the Lord.

Ebed-Melech, the Ethiopian, had approached the king on Jeremiah's behalf when the cruel injustice of being kept in a dungeon without food or water was committed against him. He was given permission to pull Jeremiah out and meet his needs. He did all this because he feared the Lord rather than fearing the king, his boss and ruler. He knew Jeremiah's words from the Lord about the fall of Jerusalem would come true and he wanted to help him before it was too late.

I love how the Lord does not forget about Ebed-Melech. Even after the fall and Jeremiah is set free by the king of Babylon, God has him return to Ebed-Melech with this special message. God was looking out for him because he trusted Him and acted out against injustice. The same is true for me. God does not forget when I act on His behalf. He is just looking for people who fear Him to act on His behalf and stand up for those who cannot stand for themselves. There is so much hope in this world in the midst of all the bad news. God is just looking for someone to be His hands and feet to deliver that hope. I am not sure specifically how this looks in my life. I know God has called me to bring value into the lives of young women across the world, His precious daughters who feel hopeless because they haven't been empowered (by the the Holy Spirit).

I pray that I would continue to be sensitive to the plight of those treated unjustly. Lord, soften my heart so that there will be no hindrances keeping me from being your hands and feet in a hurting world. Give me your eyes to see where I can act on your behalf, like Ebed-Melech did for Jeremiah. May my fear be in you alone and not any person. I love you.

Hand Delivered Hope

2011-08-23T11:40:00.000-07:00

Jeremiah 32:27 - "Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?"

Jeremiah sought the Lord for understanding regarding his recent purchase of land from his cousin. The Lord made it clear that Jeremiah was supposed to buy it, yet the land had been taken over by the Chaldeans. Jeremiah didn't understand why God would have him buy the land when He knew it would be taken over. This is God's response: "Is there anything too hard for Me?" God's ways are perfect. He promised Jeremiah that He would gather His people and restore their land. He would develop a fear in them that would make them terrified of ever being apart from Him (v. 40).

This verse has a sweet spot in my heart. It was hand delivered to me on one of my plane rides back home to Honolulu. I had just submitted my application to USC for a masters of public diplomacy for the 3rd time. Like Jeremiah, I knew God called me to be part of this program and I couldn't understand why I kept being rejected. I knew there was nothing left to use to convince them that I was qualified, so I left it in the Lord's hands. I sort of felt stuck in Hawaii and I was quite discouraged, when this man sitting behind me saw I was reading my Bible and passed me a crumpled up bit of newspaper with this verse on it (Jer. 32:27). He said the Lord wanted to encourage me with it and I said thank you. I immediately turned to it in my Bible and began weeping. Just as God spoke to Jeremiah, He so clearly spoke to my heart in that moment. He has been and will continue to guide every detail of my life. I love Him more than words can say. And I am so grateful that He so faithfully brings encouragement when I need it most. This first week at USC is a dream come true. A dream 4 years in the making that often felt so far from reach.

Thank you Lord for your faithfulness in my life. Thank you for always giving me hope in the dreams you've placed on my heart. I am so in awe of you and your hand over my life. Please instill your fear in my heart. I cannot imagine living my life apart from you. I want to remain as close as possible. I love you.

Fully Satisfied

2011-06-30T23:26:00.000-07:00

Psalm 104:13 - The earth is satisfied with the fruit of Your works.

God is so good. He never fails to take care of His creation. The psalmist carefully notes each detail of creation that is cared for by God. This particular verse struck me. It's as if the Lord said - "the earth is satisfied with the fruit of my works, so why aren't you?" I tend to get impatient with God. I allow myself to be dissatisfied because I don't like waiting for His fruit sometimes. Yet just as He cares for every detail of His creation, He so intricately cares for me. The fruit of His work in my life is so sweet and ripe at the perfect time.

Thank you Lord for satisfying my heart with good things (Psalm 103:5). Please help me to be perfectly content in You. I pray against any desires that are not from You. I know many desires are from You but I try to fulfill them at the wrong time and in the wrong way. Please take those desires away until Your time is right. The fruit of Your works is so present in my life and I am satisfied in Your presence. I love you.

Through It All

2011-06-05T23:18:00.000-07:00

Psalm 33:11 - But the Lord's plans stand firm forever; His intentions can never be shaken.

I love the unchanging nature of God's character. He is so faithful and true. Sometimes I am just overwhelmed by His faithfulness in my life. And when I ever doubt His plan for me and His ability to use me, I can look to verses like this one. He'll never let me go through it all. Even when I mess up or fail to spend time with Him - His intentions for me can never be shaken. His plans for my life stand firm forever! Yes and amen!

I want to live in His perfect plan for me everyday. Lord thank you for using me and loving me. I am Your vessel to be molded and effectively used for a purpose. Continue to guide me. Thank you for being so faithful in every season of my life. I am overwhelmed by Your love for me. I love you.

Remembering His Words

2011-05-10T13:10:00.000-07:00

Matthew 27:63 - "Sir, we remember, while He was still alive, how that deceiver said, 'After three days I will rise.'"

The Pharisees seemed to remember and know Jesus' words better than His own disciples. Jesus clearly said He would rise after three days, yet His disciples didn't fully grasp or believe it. Instead of waiting in expectancy, they were hiding in shame and grief. They thought life was over and doubted whether Jesus really was the Messiah. The Pharisees on the other hand prepared for the "worst" making the miracle of Jesus' resurrection even more spectacular by placing a stone and a guard in front of the tomb.

It is easy to doubt or even forget Jesus' words of hope in times of utter hopelessness. When all the doors seem closed and the future is unclear, we so easily forget what Christ spoke to our hearts and the promises He gave us. Instead we should be like the Pharisees in this instance and remember Jesus' words and truly live like we believe they will come to pass. I need to remember this every step of my journey with Jesus. He so clearly guides me and directs my path. I have learned the key to remaining hopeful is trusting in God's time. He may not always say "in 3 days" or "in 3 years", but His words will come to pass in His perfect time. I just have to live off the last direction He gave me, until He brings me to that destination or gives me new direction.

Thank you Lord for continually speaking to me. I count it an honor and joy to hear Your voice and to be in such close relationship with You. My whole life has been detailed together by You and I love seeing it come together. I have so much hope in You and I trust you to take care of my every step of the way. I love you.

Worth the Wait

2011-05-02T22:37:00.000-07:00

1 Chronicles 14:2 - So David knew that the Lord had established him as king over Israel, for his kingdom was highly exalted for the sake of His people Israel.

David's time had finally come. He was 37 years old when he became king of all of Israel. He was 30 when he started ruling in Judah, during which time Saul was killed. This means that it could have been anywhere from 5-20 years that David was waiting for his calling to be fulfilled from the time Samuel first anointed him as king. I'm sure that was not how David ever imagined it. Yet the longer he waited and the further the journey, the destination became even sweeter. He understood the Lord had called him to be king and it was confirmed in his heart when he finally got there.

Waiting seasons are tough. When the Lord gives me a dream or confirms a desire in my heart, I don't expect to wait too many years. I want it to happen right away because I get so excited about it. Yet waiting is always involved. The amazing thing is God's timing is always perfect, never late and never early. He intentionally designs the waiting seasons as times of essential preparation.

I am so grateful God doesn't give me what I want right when I want it. He prepares my heart and examines my motives. He makes sure I understand that it is not by my own strength or my own doing that I receive it. The waiting season prepares my heart to give God all the glory so that He can be highly exalted in every part of my life.

Thank you Lord for making me wait 4 years and go through 3 applications before being accepted to USC. I know it was by Your favor and grace that I've been admitted and I pray you would go before me and prepare the way for me to bring You glory in this program. I love you.

God's Presence in My Life

2011-04-30T22:30:00.000-07:00

2 Samuel 6:11 - The ark of the Lord remained in the house of Obed-Edom the Gittite three months. And the Lord blessed Obed-Edom and all his household.

The ark of the Lord is where God's presence dwelt. It was to be treated with the highest reverence in all seriousness. As David was transporting it one of his men died for reaching out and touching it in order to prevent it from falling. David was confused and frightened by God's response that he didn't take it any further. Instead, it went to the nearby home of Obed-Edom where it stayed for 3 months. The entire household of Obed-Edom was extremely blessed by God's presence. Everything he owned multiplied and God's favor was evident in every area of his life. It was so evident that David realized he needed the ark to finish its journey to his palace.

What beautiful reality - God's presence will be visible in our lives.

I love that unlike in David's time, we have 24-7 access to the presence of God. In fact, He lives in us through the Holy Spirit. Our lives should look just like the household of Obed-Edom when they had the ark for 3 months. I never want to limit the power of His Spirit in any part of my life. I want to continually live in His favor and blessing. I've seen the outcome of what this looks like in my life. I am consistently in awe of how He works in my life. He is never too late or too early.

Thank you Lord for the fantastic news of being accepted to USC. It doesn't feel real because it's something I've waited for 4 years. Thank you for your favor and your perfect timing. I feel so incredibly blessed to see you working so clearly in my life. Thank you for speaking to my heart and never allowing the USC dream to die, even when things seemed hopeless. You always sent a little confirmation that gave me hope. I love you and Your presence in my life.

All I Really Want in Life

2011-04-27T22:21:00.000-07:00

Psalm 142:3, 5 - When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn ... Then I pray to you, O Lord. I say "You are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life."

David wrote this psalm as he was hiding in a cave to save his life from Saul. He was in a tough position constantly on the run. I'm sure he had moments of doubt wondering when he would become king. It was in moments of prayer and worship that his heart repositioned to the Lord's. It's in his conversation with the Lord that he finds encouragement.

Shortly after this prayer Saul enters the cave not knowing David is hiding there. If David had not realigned his heart with the Lord's, he might have mistaken this opportunity as a chance to become king and for revenge on Saul. Yet David knew he had to do things God's way and wait on Him for the perfect timing to be king. He wasn't going to forcefully or on his own fulfill the calling God placed on his life.

I love this psalm knowing the situation David was in when he wrote it. It resonates in my heart today as I feel like I'm in a waiting season. Just this week I was thinking about my future and where I'd be in a few years and I was overwhelmed. I thought about grad school and if I don't get accepted. I thought about my husband and when I would meet him. I thought about my finances and how I could ever afford to live on my own again. It was a bit overwhelming. Yet I know I'm right where I'm supposed to be. And every detail of my future is in God's hands.

Like David said, "You are all I really want in life" Lord. I surrender my calling to You and I trust You to fulfill the desires You've placed in my heart in your time. Help me to know the way I should turn and never take matters in my own hands. I consistently want to go to You as my place of refuge when life gets overwhelming. Renew the purpose you've placed on my life. Thank you for a beautiful afternoon at Laguna Beach. I am so grateful for all the blessings in my life. I love you.

Life is a Group Project

2011-04-25T22:13:00.000-07:00

1 Samuel 30:24 - "Who will listen when you talk like this? We share and share alike - those who go to battle and those who guard the equipment."

David's men became possessive of what they had rightfully worked for. When some of them grew tired, the rest of them went on and did most of the work in retrieving what was stolen from them. David had enough wisdom to respond gracefully as their leader. I don't think I would have been able to do the same.

If I work hard for something, the last thing I want to do is share it with someone who gave up and didn't finish the race well. In fact, I've struggled with this growing up. Which is why I've never been a big fan of group projects. Yet I never realized how much I must depend on others for most things in life. Life is one big group project and most of the time I don't get to choose who I work with. This lesson in grace is one I'm continually learning.

The words of David resonate deep in my heart. We share and share alike. Each role is vital for the success of the team - even though some seem and look more important. Although most of the time I feel like the one going to battle rather than the one guarding the equipment - ultimately none of the reward is mine. I have graciously been giving the opportunity to be part of the victory that is Christ's. And I always want to play a role in the battle.

Lord help me to be aware of your grace in my life and to freely extend grace to those around me. Please rid me of the attitude of entitlement and selfishness that so easily comes out. Help me to be a vessel of your grace and not feel like I have to show your "justice" to anyone. Help me to work hard at each role you give me and not compare my work to those around me. May I always look to You as my standard and not selfishly hold on to my reward for myself. Make my heart like yours, full of grace and love. I love you.

When Things Seem Hopeless

2011-04-22T22:03:00.000-07:00

1 Samuel 25:10 - "Who is this fellow David?" Nabal sneered to the young men. "Who does this son of Jesse think he is?"

Samuel had just died and although David had been anointed king, he had yet to become king. Instead he was in hiding with his men trying to escape from Saul. I can imagine David must have felt slightly abandoned wondering when his calling would be fulfilled. With the death of Samuel I'm sure he lost some hope. Samuel was his mentor and guide. He was the one who anointed David in the first place.

It was in this moment that David encountered Nabal who unfortunately pushed him over the edge. David was already in a vulnerable position and I'm sure he was also in defensive mode trying to defend God's call on his life. I've been there at a slightly lesser degree and it's tough. It is challenging to wait on the Lord to fulfill the calling He has placed on my life.

I pray that when I do reach moments of hopelessness I would find hope in the sure faithfulness of the One who called me. I also pray that He would send people like Abigail who was there for David to keep me from acting on impulse or speaking out of defensiveness. It is important to have people in my life to keep me on the right track. That is my prayer for today.

Lord send me a group of young women that I can be accountable to. Please connect me to a great group of friends and help me to recognize the mentors you've placed in my life. Thank you for the reminder to never give up hope on what you've called me to. Please guide my application with USC as it's on the wait list. I pray for your divine favor these next couple weeks as they continue to review my application. I love you.

Embracing the Training

2011-04-15T21:54:00.000-07:00

1 Samuel 17:57 - As soon as David returned from killing Goliath, Abner brought him to Saul with the Philistine's head still in his hand.

I love reading David's story. God called and anointed him to be king as a young boy. He knew he was set apart for greatness. So even still as a shepherd he knew he was being trained to be king. All those times protecting his sheep from wild animals trained him to be commander-in-chief of God's people in battle. He understood God was with him, so he wasn't afraid to step out into his calling.

Like here when he killed Goliath. I'm sure he was a little scared but he knew God called and equipped him to do it. He probably thought this would bring him closer to becoming king. In a way it did. But probably not the way he imagined it. I imagine him being excited and thrilled to be brought to Saul after defeating Goliath. Perhaps he thought Saul would recognize God's calling on his life and crown him king right then and there. Unfortunately, it wasn't that easy. God had many more lessons to teach David before allowing him to be king.

The same is true in my life. Every time I think I've "arrived" at my calling, God reminds me that He is still training me. He is laying the foundation for my future everyday in each new challenge I face. It's all part of His plan and He knows what He is doing. Like David, I'm sure I will be disappointed along the way, wondering when my time will come. But I understand the waiting season is just as important (if not more). God is so faithful to guide me and equip me for every good thing He has called me to.

Lord renew my patience. Give me endurance for the road ahead. Help me to wait on you and not be anxious. Continue to direct my paths as I learn to trust in You with all my heart. I love you so much!

Robbing Myself of a Blessing

2011-04-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

1 Samuel 15:9 - Saul and his men kept the best of the sheep and goats, the cattle, the fat calves, and the lambs - everything, in fact, that appealed to them. They destroyed only what was worthless or of poor quality.

Saul deliberately disobeyed the Lord by not destroying everything. Yet he convinced himself that his actions were justified because he was planning to sacrifice it to the Lord. He became so blinded by his lie that he no longer believed he did wrong. This is such a scary place to be in and it doesn't just happen overnight. It happens in the little things where we ignore the whisper of the Holy Spirit and start convincing ourselves that we deserve certain things the Lord hasn't given us yet.

Saul kept what was supposed to be destroyed because it looked good to him. What he didn't realize was the appealing things he kept wouldn't even compare to the rich reward he would have received if he had obeyed the Lord. God did not want to keep any good thing from him. He was not trying to punish him by having him destroy everything - he was trying to protect him from the impurity of the Amalekites. God wanted only the best for His people.

If I wanted to I could easily obtain every desire on my own - my "ideal" job, the "perfect" husband, etc. But I know that my idea of what is appealing does not even come close to the blessing God wants to give me. It is best to do things His way and allow Him to bless me in His perfect time - not going after the blessings on my own. I never want to settle for less than God's best in any way, shape, or form. I never want to justify wrong actions and rob myself of greater blessing.

Lord forgive me for trying to obtain things on my own. Help me to live out my trust and faith in You. Give me the strength to always walk in obedience. I love you.

With Delay Comes Value

2011-04-07T22:46:00.000-07:00

1 Samuel 1:11 - And she made this vow: "O Lord of Heaven's Armies, if you will look upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you. He will be yours for his entire lifetime, and as a sign that he has been dedicated to the Lord, his hair will never be cut."

God looks for people who are willing to be used by Him. Hannah came to a place of desperation where she was only willing to do things God's way. If God had blessed her with children right away Israel might have missed out on one of its greatest prophets. She would not have realized or understood the value of her children as direct blessings from God. She certainly would not have dedicated her first son to be used by the Lord at the Temple. If she only knew during all those times of bitterness and in every tear that God was working in her. He was preparing her to be a vessel of his greatness - to be the mother of Samuel.

God is so good. I always want to remain open and willing to be used by Him. Even if it means some of life's blessings will be delayed. God certainly knows what He is doing. As He prepares me, like He prepared Hannah, I will not only be better equipped but also with a better understanding of the value of the gift. Hannah most definitely valued her children more than Peninnah valued her children. God's timing was perfect too. If Samuel had come sooner the time would not have been right for him to be trained as a priest. I am consistently in awe of how God works.

Thank you Lord for reminding me that your ways are best. I always trust you even though I don't always understand. Please build value into the desires you've placed in my life. Help me not to obtain them so easily that I don't realize their value. I pray for endurance and patience in the days and years ahead. I pray against any bitterness from taking root in my life. I love you.

Becoming a Vessel of God's Greatness

2011-04-06T22:39:00.000-07:00

Ruth 3:18 - Then Naomi said to her, "Just be patient, my daughter, until we hear what happens. The man won't rest until he has settled things today."

Ruth and Naomi are now settled, yet they are still waiting for a kinsman to redeem them. Naomi instructs Ruth to modestly and appropriately gain the attention of Boaz. Because Ruth respects Naomi as a mentor and mother-in-law, she is obedient. Boaz, being the proper gentleman that he is, did not further pursue Ruth right away because he didn't consider himself worthy (or young enough) to be her husband. In obeying Naomi, Ruth's future became secure. Out of her patience and obedience, Ruth became the mother of Obed who was David's grandfather.

God often requires greater patience for greater blessing. He allowed Ruth to go through the hardship of losing her first husband in order to eventually connect her to Boaz and set her up to be the great grandmother of Israel's greatest king - David. Imagine if Ruth tried to do things on her own or didn't trust the authority of Naomi. She would have forfeited the beautiful blessing of the Lord.

I never want to allow that to happen in my life. I am willing to be patient and walk in obedience in order to be fully used and fully blessed by the Lord. I especially want this to be true of my future husband, future family, and future ministry. God is so good and He makes it so simple to obey Him. I love you so much Lord. Thank you for calling me as you called Ruth. Help me to always be sensitive to your authority in my life - especially through the people you have surrounded me with. Please send a mentor like Naomi for me in this season.

Allowing God to Write my Love Story

2011-04-05T12:37:00.000-07:00

Ruth 2:11 - "Yes I know," Boaz replied. "But I also know about everything you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband. I have heard how you left your father and mother and your own land to live here among complete strangers."

The story of Ruth and Boaz is one of love completely orchestrated by the Lord. Ruth goes above and beyond obedience to the Lord by staying with her mother-in-law Naomi. Her only hope is in the Lord, the God of Naomi. She obediently takes care of Naomi and works to provide food for both of them. It is while she is serving the Lord that her dream of finding a husband is fulfilled.

I love how the Lord completely takes care of Ruth as she obediently lives for Him not for herself. The Lord so clearly spoke to my heart as I read the beginning of this love story. God opened Boaz's eyes and set him at the right place at the right time to see Ruth. He already knew about her and he saw her heart of obedience to the Lord before they even met each other.

Ruth wasn't "on the prowl" looking at each man around her as a potential husband. She didn't try to make herself known. She didn't have to "promote" herself by sharing her heart with Boaz. She was simply working in the field, focused on what God asked her to do. God set everything up for a beautiful love story that was not based on anything Ruth did or could do, at first. It is also important to note that their romance didn't begin right away (verse 23). But God laid the foundation without any help from Ruth.

There are so many aspects of this that speak directly to me. God does not need my help in writing my love story. He does not need my eyes to constantly be searching for Mr. Right. He doesn't need me trying to figure out ways to share my heart with certain guys that I find attractive. He simply needs me to walk obediently with him and continue to serve Him with my life.

There have been a few times in my life where I've felt like God was letting me down in the romantic area. But every time He sweetly reminded me that He is protecting me. If a certain guy seems blind it's because God hasn't opened his eyes to see me. For that, I am grateful. God knows me better than I know myself. I know when the time is right, He will fulfill the romantic desire He placed in my heart. Until then, I will be encouraged by Ruth and continue serving the Lord fully.

Lord forgive me for being distracted by men. You are my one and only and I trust you to write my love story just as you wrote the love story of Ruth and Boaz. Please be with my future husband and open his eyes to me in your perfect time.

The Quick Fix Formula

2011-04-03T10:56:00.000-07:00

Judges 17:13 - "I know the Lord will bless me now," Micah said, "because I have a Levite serving as my priest."

Micah's mother dedicated some money to the Lord and with it made an idol in honor of her son. They had drifted so far from the Lord that they justified their wrongdoing by dedicating it to the Lord. Micah must have known deep down that he wasn't honoring the Lord, yet he still wanted the blessings that come with honoring the Lord. So he paid a Levite to be his own personal priest hoping it would make his behavior right before the Lord. It's as if he knew the truth yet chose only his favorite parts to obey. By having a Levite in his home he reasoned that it would override any wrongdoing.

So often I do the same thing. I am unwilling to give up my own personal pleasures to honor the Lord. Instead I look for the "magic" remedy to override my shortcomings. I spend 15 min. reading the Bible as if it were the cure to my day, just like Micah used the Levite. The problem is, God doesn't work that way. Yes He operates in grace and will freely forgive when I ask Him during my 15 min. Bible reading. But it's so much more than that! I can't keep living the same way. I can't look for ways to justify my behavior. There isn't some secret formula or quick fix. It comes out of a desire to fully live for the Lord.

Lord forgive me for trying to live my way and still honor you. Please rid me of anything that does not please you. Help me to loosen my grip and control of things in my life. You are my everything and I want to live my every moment for you. I love you with all my heart.

My Obedience is not Dependent on God's Timeliness

2011-03-31T23:06:00.000-07:00

Judges 9:22 - After Abimelech had ruled over Israel for three years.

Jotham was Gideon's only son to escape from the hands of Abimelech. Abimelech forcefully took control and even paid people to follow him as king. Although Jotham was afraid, he spoke out to the people on behalf of God warning them of their terrible mistake. He even outlined the punishment that they would face from their disobedience. And the Lord was pleased. Yet it took 3 years before any of it came true. I'm sure as Jotham was in hiding he expectedly awaited the day when God would remove Abimelech. He knew and understood the consequences of disobedience. Yet3 years seems like a long time. I wonder if during that time he doubted what the Lord had spoken through him. He probably wondered why God was taking so long. And maybe he even regretted speaking out because now everyone probably thought he was a fool. Whatever the case, God was faithful and just in the situation. It simply didn't happen overnight.

It is hard to wait on the Lord. It is hard to share dreams the Lord has given me and then not see them fulfilled right away. It is hard not to get discouraged. Yet I know with God timing is everything. Ultimately He is in control and I must continually learn to trust Him. It should never keep me from obeying Him - like Jotham, whether it happens overnight or over 3 years, I must act out when the Lord speaks to me. My obedience is not based on God's timeliness.

Lord help me to understand your timing. I recommit my desire for grad school to you. It's been a little over 3 years since you first placed public diplomacy on my heart. Lord please make a way and guide my application even now in the final process. I trust you and your timing.

Getting Rid of Distraction

2011-03-22T14:19:00.000-07:00

1 Corinthians 7:31 - Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away.

Paul addresses the Corinthians about marriage and the bottom line is it should point back to the Lord. Marriage is for the purpose of serving the Lord best with as few distractions as possible (verse 35). This verse is set right in the middle of this encouragement about marriage and I think it is so appropriate.

Distraction seems to be a theme this week. There are so many things vying for my attention. From my favorite TV shows to certain friendships to my fashion magazines to getting enough rest to always looking for my husband. I think it's safe to say I am easily distracted. I love how this verse says these things (of the world) aren't necessarily bad because they can be used as tools. The challenge is not allowing myself to become attached to them.

It is easy to justify certain things and make them seem right in God's eyes saying they bring Him glory. But the truth is, they may be distractions. They may be attachments to this world that I am not letting go of - maybe even facebook. Although it can be a tool of ministry, it can also be a distraction. My way of thinking has been shifted again this week at our WOW JAM. I pray that I will always strive to live in the Spirit like I have been this week. I never want to become attached to the things of this world. I do not want to keep living with eyes constantly searching for my future husband. It's not so much that I'm not content, but more that I am anxious to see the promises of the Lord fulfilled in my life.

I get so anxious to fulfill my calling that I often rush ahead of the Lord and end up doing things my way. I am realizing that this week. The greatest enemy of my soul is not destruction, but distraction. Oh Lord help me not to allow distractions in my life - even if they are good in and of themselves. Help me to sense your Spirit and where you are calling me in each moment. Teach me to be content everyday. May I find my complete wholeness in you. I love you.

Freedom is Found in the Boundaries of the Holy Spirit

2011-03-14T12:19:00.000-07:00

Galatians 5:16 - So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves.

Paul explains to the Galatians what a life with freedom in Christ looks like. Contrary to what they may think it is not so easy, although it is very simple. The key is finding or rather understanding the necessary balance between living freely not bound by the law yet still living in complete obedience to Christ. It is something they desperately needed to grasp because there were so-called believers on both extremes. Those who were bound and living by Jewish law and forcing it on others and those who used their freedom to justify disobedience to Christ.

It is a balance that I struggle to find in my life. Honestly it is probably something I deal with everyday whether I realize it or not. When my faith in Christ was young I leaned toward the law, learning what it meant to obey Christ, yet often struggling with trying to find my salvation in my obedience and even forcing it on others. As I've matured I've come to know the true freedom in Christ that guides my life and actions. Yet it is difficult to find the right balance everyday and I struggle with giving in to my sinful nature in certain moments of the day.

Paul, or rather Jesus, gives me the solution to my struggle in the Holy Spirit. The sweet Spirit that is with me in every moment offering me the very strength I need to live and act in the freedom that comes in obedience to Christ. For when I am directed by the Holy Spirit, I am not under the obligation of the law of Moses (verse 18). In other words, if I live daily in the Spirit, allowing Him to guide me, I don't have to be so concerned with following all the rules I was so focused on perfecting in my youth. I don't have to worry whether I'm on the right path, in the will of Christ. I don't have to constantly feel like I'm letting the Lord down or wondering if I am hearing Him correctly.

I've heard people misinterpret this freedom by saying God does not particularly care about every little choice we make because He gives us the freedom to choose on our own. Although to some extent that is true, there must be a balance in our understanding of it. For example, Bible teachers have told me that God does necessarily have one man picked out to be my husband, but rather He gives me many good options to choose from so that I do not have to worry about picking the wrong one. In an attempt to relieve me of "wasting" time fretting over God's will for each and every detail of my life, they have misrepresented the very nature and character of God. He truly does care about every part of my life and He wants to see me find significance in Him in every area of my life.

It goes back to the very dichotomy Paul writes about to the Galatians between freedom and the law. I absolutely love that the Holy Spirit is the answer. The Lord has so clearly been teaching me that in order to find this balance between the law and freedom, I must live by the Spirit. I must live each moment not in my natural tendencies, not in my default way of thinking, not out of my desire to prove that I can be good enough - but by the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

He is my dearest friend, lover, companion, authority, and guide. He is always available and willing to bring me back to God's very best in every detail of my life. Sure it will be quite challenging at times and my sinful nature will take offense, but what a relief not to have to try to figure out what God's will is as I make choices everyday. For it is out of my daily relationship that His will is made crystal clear in my life.

I pray that I will always live by the Spirit and allow Him to guide my life. I have seen it prove to be reliable and true so many times. I just need to continue to practice it to make it a daily habit, not just on mission trips or in times of transition and uncertainty, but always. Oh Jesus, I love you completely.

Worship that does not Bring God Glory

2011-03-09T10:11:00.000-08:00

Deuteronomy 12:31 - You must not worship the Lord your God the way other nations worship their gods, for they perform for their gods every detestable act that the Lord hates.

God offered the Israelites some final guidelines before they entered the much anticipated Promised Land. He instructed them how to worship and explained it would be different from what they were used to as travelers. But he also warned them not to take the advice or follow the example of other nations. He knew it would be tempting for them to want to be like everyone else. He knew they were prone to compare themselves to others. He knew they often wanted to do thing the easiest way possible. So he made it clear that they were set apart. He made it clear what it looked like to be his chosen people. As they entered the Promised Land they were given everything they needed to succeed.

It is interesting how God made sure to include this verse. It wasn't so much that he was concerned they would worship other nation's gods, but rather that they would worship him in the same way other nations worshiped their gods. In applying it to our culture and time, there needs to be a distinction between redeeming everything for God's glory and using the things of the world to justfiy partial worship. We simply cannot live our lives like those around us. We are called to be set apart and by definition we must do things different than the world around us. Now I wonder what that looks like in my life. Maybe it means I cannot "relax" in front of the TV, but instead "relax" in God's presence.

Lord please reveal ways I am trying to justify worship to you that is not really bringing you glory. I pray that I would never compromise your truth for the purpose of "greater good." Give me discernment.

Withheld Blessing

2011-03-08T09:58:00.000-08:00

Deuteronomy 8:2 - Remember how the Lord your God led you through the wilderness for these forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, and to find out whether or not you would obey his commands.

The Israelites had finally learned to obey the Lord after traveling with him in the dessert. They saw and experienced his never-ending faithfulness in their lives. Along the way God withheld his blessings. His favor and protection never left them, but many of his blessings were delayed. Whether it was the blessing of food, meat, water, or land; God did not give it to them all at once because he was doing something more in them besides meeting their needs and fulfilling their desires. He was giving them the gift of character, built on obedience and faith. He allowed them to be hungry to make them humble, to cause them to fully depend on him, and to teach them not to live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.

As I remember times in my life when I was lacking something - from friends to transportation to housing to a romantic relationship to family - I realize how the Lord strategically used each situation to draw me closer to him. He taught me how to depend solely on him in each circumstance. He withheld his blessing, but never once left my side. Instead he showed me an even greater blessing of himself.

I pray that I will continue to look to the giver instead of striving after the gift. With each new area of life that feels lacking would first be filling by my precious Savior. Until I allow him to fill me completely, I will never fully receive the blessing he so desperately wants to give me, even more than I want it. It may seem like I have what I desire in a certain area, but without allowing the Lord to first fill it with himself I will always be lacking in that area. Thank you Lord for developing your character in me, help me to remain forever humble.

Living But Not Always Acting in the Moment

2011-03-02T09:43:00.000-08:00

Mark 9:6 - He said this because he didn't really know what else to say, for they were all terrified.

Peter is hilarious - so open, honest, and passionate. He doesn't do things half-heartedly and he always speaks his mind. Here he has just witnessed something no one else has ever seen and he is not sure what to do. He opens his big mouth and makes a suggestion that is basically ignored. Considering the circumstance, I don't think Jesus wanted him to do anything, he simply wanted him to be there as a witness. Peter overcome by the awe of the situation tries to grasp it and contribute. Yet his verbal contribution wasn't necessary.

So often I am like Peter - trying to do something in response to a situation around me. Yet Jesus may simply be wanting me to be there without necessarily contributing. Sometimes m contribution is given because I don't really know what else to do or say. I need to be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit to understand the situation and my role in it. Yes, it may be frustrating not knowing what to do or say, but maybe the timing is not right. A good example would be in a relationship learning to be sensitive to the person not pushing my own agenda but allowing the Lord to guide me in being the best friend I can be in his/her life. Often God is asking me to focus on the moment without trying to figure out my next step. To live completely in the present, to soak it all in and all0w His spirit to guide me when the time is right.

Lord, I pray that I wouldn't always be thinking ahead of you or trying to do something you are not doing. Help me to think before I speak and to listen to your spirit before I think bout something too much. I commit all my relationships to you and every situation I find myself in. I love you.

Doubting God's Ability in Me

2011-02-24T22:23:00.000-08:00

Numbers 14:2 - Their voices rose in a great chorus of protest against Moses and Aaron, "If only we had died in Egypt, or even here in the wilderness!" they complained.

Most of the scouts brought back a bad report of the Promised Land and the Israelites chose to believe the worst of it. They were so incredibly discouraged that they complained and glorified their past. It's funny how something can be so awful while we are in it, yet when it's over we only remember the "good" parts and we kid ourselves into thinking we should go back to the "good ole' days." It is actually more of a reflection on God and His character than anything else. When the Israelites doubted their capability to dwell safely in the Promised Land it wasn't really themselves they were doubting but rather the power and faithfulness of their mighty God. He had brought them so far already and yet they didn't have the faith to walk in obedience into the Promised Land, knowing they would be taken care of because the Lord was on their side.

It sounds so foolish yet I am guilty of it myself. It's amazing how quickly I forget the power and protection I have in the Lord's covering. When He calls me to something my first thought is of how I can accomplish it on my own strength. And if I realize I can't I get discouraged and I complain to the Lord wondering why He called me to it. How silly of me! If God calls me to it, He will bring me to it in His way, strength, and time. I simply have to walk faithfully in obedience.

Oh Lord help me to always be encouraged by You. Thank you for proving so faithful in every part of my life. I have absolutely no reason to doubt that You will continue to be faithful. Help me to know what walking in obedience looks like. I earnestly pray that it would be clear. Please guide me and help me not to go where You are not leading. I love you so much!

Finding the Key to Contentment

2011-02-22T12:58:00.000-08:00

Numbers 11:4 - Then the foreign rabble who were traveling with the Israelites began to crave the good things of Egypt. And the people of Israel also began to complain, "Oh, for some meat!" they exclaimed.

The Israelites were being lead by the Lord out of Egypt, out of their bondage. Yet they weren't content to simply be in the covering of God - they constantly wanted more. He provided food for them and they were satisfied for a little while, that is until they were reminded about what they were missing out on. Instead of being grateful for what they had been blessed with, they started to crave what they didn't have - meat. Really they wouldn't have known it was missing if it weren't for the foreigners among them who craved the things of their former life in Egypt.

It's a bummer that they allowed the foreigners to convince themselves that they needed meat causing them to be discontent. Reminds me of times in my life when I am overwhelmed with discontentment and I give in to complaint, completely lacking a spirit of gratefulness. It is usually caused by "foreign rabble" in my life - the things that I allow to influence me that do not bring glory to God. Whether it's the people around me, the music I listen to, the shows or movies I watch, or the things I read - if they are not honoring to the Lord they will cause discontentment to grow in me.

I've known this to be true in many areas of my life. I allow outside influences to convince me that I need or even deserve something that the Lord has not given to me. It may even be something good that He wants to bless me with in His time. But if I give in to being discontent and I constantly complain to the Lord, like the Israelites, I may be given the thing I long for but it won't be God's best or in God's way. It will be a product of my manipulation, rationalization, and stipulation.

Imagine if the Israelites would have been grateful and content with manna - they would have quickly realized the reward of abundance, including meat, that was just waiting for them in the Promised Land - better than the quail that they soon grew tired of. It just shows how when we lack a spirit of gratefulness we will always be discontent, constantly wanting more and never fully satisfied. This is one lesson I must learn now - to be content in every season and situation.

Oh Lord help me not to allow "foreign rabble" to keep me from being grateful. Help me not to desire anything beyond what You are blessing me with. I pray that with each new blessing I would be content. That in each new season I would see what You have placed before me and be grateful for it. Like right now being with my family, living at home, working at Dad's office - I am so incredibly blessed and content to be serving You. I love You!

Clear Instructions

2011-02-04T23:04:00.000-08:00

Psalm 19:8 - The commandments of the Lord are right, bringing joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are clear, giving insight for living.

The psalmist praises God for His perfect instructions that make wise the simple. They are worth more than gold and they are sweeter than honey. Normally that is not an analogy that would be used to describe commands. When we think of commands we think of something that is a burden, something laborious that is difficult to figure out. Yet that is the very opposite of God's nature and His desire for our lives. In obedience we find joy, and that obedience is always clear. His instructions bring joy when they are followed through.

We never have to question if they are right because we know God is in control. There is no confusion in living close to Jesus, His ways are clear and they give me insight for every part of my life. Whether it be choosing to stay pure for my future husband even when the waiting seems unbearable or unfair to choosing to submit to authority and play by the rules in every situation of life - I must live in obedience to Christ, the obedience He makes so very clear as I stay close to Him. My heart's desire is to dwell in God's presence everyday of my life, following His clear and simple direction. Even when it doesn't seem to make sense in my limited thinking or doesn't seem fair. Honestly, I am not entitled to anything - I am content in simply being a daughter of God.

Oh Lord help me to meditate on your commands and allow them to penetrate my heart everyday. Give me the strength to live them out in every area of my life. Forgive me for not doing so today and this week. I need You and I love You deeply. Thank you for loving me so deeply.

Right Man, Right Time, Right Way

2011-01-31T22:55:00.000-08:00

Acts 7:25 - Moses assumed his fellow Israelites would realize that God had sent him to rescue them, but they didn't.

Like Joseph, Moses knew he was born for something great. God had placed it in his heart when he was young and he understood his calling in life was to rescue his people, the Israelites. But, like Joseph, he tried to fulfill his calling his own way instead of waiting on the Lord. Joseph shared his prophetic dreams with his brothers, somehow thinking that in sharing them they would come true. Moses stepped out and tried to bring peace for the Israelites the only way he knew how. Both men of God had the best intentions but the wrong timing and the wrong way. They knew their calling and in their eagerness to live it out they went ahead of the Lord.

Sounds quite familiar. Situations like these remind me how thankful I am that the Lord only reveals a little bit at a time. When prophecy is spoken over me or the Lord confirms something in my heart, my first reaction is to move towards it with full force. If God calls me to it, I want to see it realized pronto in my life. Yet so often I pursue the right things in the wrong way and at the wrong time, just like Moses. For instance, it's probably a good thing that the Lord has not revealed my future husband to me because if He did, I know I would do everything to move towards marriage asap.

That is why I pray the Lord brings him at the perfect time and allows me to be pursued and not rush in front of Him. I don't want to make any assumptions in any part of the calling God has placed over my life. I want to wait on Him and trust His ways. He has proven so faithful to clearly direct my steps in the past that I have no reason to doubt that He will continue to. I love you Lord with all my heart. Bring my husband when the time is right.

"I Will Follow You"

2011-01-26T22:38:00.000-08:00

Exodus 14:4 - "And once again I will harden Pharaoh's heart, and he will chase after you. I have planned this in order to display my glory through Pharaoh and his whole army. After this the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord." So the Israelites camped there as they were told.

Moses was finally able to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. By now there were thousands of them and they all could finally see the freedom from slavery they so longed for. Yet there is a halt in that hoped for freedom as God once again tells Moses it's not completely over with the Egyptians. Knowing full well that they will be chased (which is pretty much their worst fear), they obediently camp out instead of running as fast as they can in the other direction.

How frustrating that must have been! There is no way the message could have traveled to every Israelite without instilling a fear among them. It was one of their first tests in learning to trust God even when they don't fully understand it. I'm sure there were even some who thought it was too good to be true and didn't want to get their hopes up so they prepared mentally for their worst fear to take place - to be forced back into slavery (Exodus 14:12 - they spoke it!). And yet they were truly free and God was in control. God would be fully glorified in their obedience.

It is the heart of the song Chris Tomlin sings "Where you go, I'll go, where you stay, I'll stay, when you move, I'll move, I will follow you." That is my heart and the way I live my life. Even when I don't fully understand it all, I want to walk in obedience.

After squeezing in a brief devotional time this morning I was meditating on this verse as I was driving to work. The Chris Tomlin song came on and I could barely sing along because I couldn't hold back the tears that flowed out of pure gratefulness for God's clear faithfulness in my life. Especially now in this new season as I conclude my first week at my new job. This song sinks so deep into my heart and my desire to please the Lord.

As the tears were flowing with the song playing, I looked to my right and for some reason focused on the license plate of the parked care I happened to be driving past at that exact moment. It is rare for me to focus my attention on a parked care while in the act of driving myself. But it was clearly an act of the Lord as He was speaking so sweetly to my heart. The license plate was decorated with at USC border and as I sang "I will follow you", the Lord confirmed that He is leading me to USC. Such a beautiful moment in the Lord's presence that I will never forget.

It reminds me of a similar experience driving to work in Hawaii meditating in the Lord's presence when Third Day's song, "Revelation", came on the radio. Tears streamed down my face as I sang "Tell me should I stay here or do I need to move? Give me a revelation, I've got nothing without You" I looked up and the car directly in front of me had a USC license plate. It is so exciting to receive a dream from the Lord and to wait on Him to fulfill it in His perfect way and timing.

The Lord so clearly speaks to my heart and confirms His leading along the way. Like the Israelites in this passage, I want to be obedient to the Lord and stay when He says stay and go when He says go - so that His glory is displayed in my life.

Thank you Lord for speaking to me today and reconfirming the dream to go to USC that You've placed in my heart. Help me not to prepare for the worst, like some of the Israelites did when their faith in You was tested. Instead help me to trust You and prepare for the best, being confident in the promises You've whispered to me and the God-honoring desires You've placed in my heart. Oh Lord I commit myself to you in a fresh new way today. I am nothing without You and I so desperately need You in every part of my life. I cannot depend on any part of my own strength as I enter this new season with new demands. Please be with me as You have been every step of the way. Help me to be sensitive to Your Spirit and where You are calling me to join You. Thank you for the opportunity to witness so many amazing ministries and areas You are working. Help me to know where to invest this time You've given me right here, right now. I love you with all my heart!

Fulfilling God's Plan My Way

2011-01-11T22:30:00.000-08:00

Genesis 27:5 - But Rebekah overheard what Isaac had said to his son Esau.

Before they were even born, God had set them apart. He even told their parents part of the plans He had for the twins. God knew the plans he had for Jacob and they were great, yet He didn't need Jacob's help to accomplish them. He simply needed Jacob's obedience to Him and He would work out the details. Yet Jacob took matters into his own hands when he tricked Esau into selling his birthright. His mom also encouraged him to be deceitful. She took matters into her own hands to ensure that what God promised would come true for Jacob, her favorite son.

So often we beg the Lord for a vision of our future because we are so anxious to get there. Often God will give us glimpses, yet he never gives us the whole picture. He knows we can't fully handle it and even worse we may do things our way to make something happen that God is already working out in His own way and time. I know this has been true in my life. The Lord has put so many dreams in my heart and so often I just want them to be fulfilled right away that I am tempted to take things into my own hands. I am so grateful the Lord only reveals where He is leading me one step at a time. If I knew more it would either scare me from going forward or it would cause me to get there on my own terms.

Thank you Lord for your wise guidance. Thank you for giving me more than enough direction for each day. Help me to continue to trust you with every part of my life, not going ahead of you or lagging behind you. Forgive me for trying to fulfill your plans in my ways. Thank you for bringing me to Hawaii, it's been a wonderful 3 years, not too long or too short. Your ways and timing are best! I love you!

An Everyday Witness

2011-01-07T22:10:00.000-08:00

Genesis 19:14 - So Lot rushed out to tell his daughters' fiances, "Quick, get out of the city! The Lord is about to destroy it." But the young men thought he was only joking.

Lot feared the Lord and believed He would do what He said He would. Yet he didn't fully live as a witness. When everything was going good he did his own thing and tried to live a "good" life. But when danger came he pressed into the Lord and tried to bring people closer to the Lord. Sadly, they didn't believe him because his everyday life didn't quite match up. He wasn't a strong witness for the Lord in the little things. When "judgment day" came and he took the opportunity to warn his neighbors of impending destruction, they didn't take him seriously. It really is a shame because he had the opportunity to save lives.

I never want to be a weak witness for Christ. I want to live every moment in a way that directs people to Christ, especially in the little things. I pray that I would be a trustworthy witness that people would listen to what I say because my life matches my words. I don't want to blend so much into my surroundings that people can't see Christ in me because I look so much like the culture around me.

Lord I pray this would be true in my next season of life. California is somewhat of a comfort zone for me. Help me to live outside that comfort and be a witness for you in the capacity you have called me to. Direct me to all the right people and increase my opportunities to be a witness for you. I pray especially for opportunities in the inner city. May people see you when they look at me. May my life continually point to you. I love you.

When Faith Doesn't "Make Sense"

2010-12-13T21:53:00.000-08:00

Hebrews 11:17, 18 - It was by faith that Abraham offered Isaac as a sacrifice when God was testing him. Abraham, who had received God's promises, was ready to sacrifice his only son, Isaac, even though God had told him, "Isaac is the son through whom your descendants will be counted."

Abraham walked by faith even as he didn't know where God was leading his family. God had spoken promises over his life and even though he didn't understand how they would be fulfilled, he still believed and walked in obedience. One promise has begun to be fulfilled in Isaac. Just as he was reaching adulthood God seemed to send a conflicting message. He was asking Abraham to sacrifice his only song, the son through whom God had said the promise would be fulfilled Abraham probably wondered if he had heard right. Surely God did not want him to kill his only son. Yet he walked in obedience and believed in faith that God knew what He was doing even if logically it made no sense. He reasoned God would bring him back from the dead.

I love being mentored by Abraham because I've always been able to relate to him as I walk in faith with Christ. A lot of things the Lord asks me to do, do not logically make sense to me. I feel called to DC, yet He leads me to Hawaii, the exact opposite direction in miles. I feel called to be single right now and He surrounds me with all married people. I feel called to be a light in the marketplace yet He asks me to obediently serve Him behind a desk in full time church ministry. It doesn't seem to make sense yet at the same time it makes perfect sense because God's ways are perfect and I wouldn't ever want to stray from them.

Thank you Lord for never leaving me doubting or wondering what obedience to you looks like. You always make it clear, even if it doesn't seem to make sense right away. I love you with all my heart.

Nothing is Too Hard for God

2010-11-29T21:43:00.000-08:00

Jeremiah 32:27 - "I am the Lord, the God of all the peoples of the world. Is anything too hard for me?"

I'm on my sixth airplane this week reflecting on this season of life and the transition I'm in. I am so amazed at how everything is so perfectly coming to an end in Hawaii. The Lord gave me this verse tonight - he hand-delivered it by the man sitting behind me. Tears streamed down my face as I read it. I know it was exactly what the Lord was trying to tell me as I stressed over flying and as I wondered about getting into USC and thought about my future marriage, as I read my book "The Faith of America's First Ladies."Although my dream is to become the first lady of the U.S. one day, through the book the Lord has been showing me how He has called me to be a first lady already, whether I make it to the White House or not! Mom even said she thinks I will be a pastor's wife.

As I pondered all this, the Lord planted this verse in my hand and I am determined to write it on my heart. I don't think I necessarily doubt the Lord's ability, I think I doubt His ability in me or I downplay and rationalize the dreams I have wondering if they are from him or just my own. My spirit and heart are so willing but my body and mind are so weak. I guess that is why I need the Lord daily, not just in "transition." I sure do need to learn this now and change my habits and patterns of thinking in order for God's potential in me to be fully realized.

Oh Lord teach me to train my spirit to train my body. Thank you for this amazing reminder of the words you have spoken. I declare them over my life - "You are the Lord, the God of all peoples of the world. There is nothing in my life that is too hard for you." Oh Lord I love you so much. I love living this life with you and walking each step and every breath in your presence. Make the necessary changes and remove any dirt and sin in me so I can shine more brilliantly! Help me to become the wife and mother you've called me to right now before I have my own family. I love you.

Letting Go of What I Have

2010-11-23T21:36:00.000-08:00

Matthew 14:17 - "But we have only five loaves of bread and two fish!" they answered.

The disciples were overwhelmed with the thought of trying to feed the massive crowd. They couldn't even grasp the idea of it. Yet Jesus only wanted what they had, no matter how small it was. I wonder if someone secretly had more food but didn't want to give it up because they wanted it all for themselves or their family. I know if I was there I probably would have held on to my food and thought to myself "everyone should have planned ahead like I did." I tend to prepare for everything in advance and have little pity or sympathy on those who don't Yet sometimes God asks me to give up the little I'm holding onto so that He can increase it and bless me and others. I need to be more willing to let go of my careful planning in order to bless others.

Lord give me your heart and help me not to hold on so tightly to anything except you. Give me a generous heart that loves to share with others. Thank you for all the little ways you bless me. I love you.

Living with a Light Burden

2010-11-22T20:30:00.000-08:00

Matthew 11:29, 30 - Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.

Jesus left his disciples with such wonderful promises - truths they could stand firmly on. This is one of my favorites. The Lord has actually reminded me of it today before I read it. Today was more stressful then it should have been. I didn't sleep very well last night because my mind was racing through everything going on in my life these next couple months. And also because I had to wake up to take the GRE. I dreamt about the test and worried about being late or going over and having to rush to the airport. It ended up being a peaceful morning as I got to relax before the test center opened. Although my score improved, I didn't do as well as I hoped I would. I made it to the airport with plenty of time to spare, which was wonderful because I got to sit in the first class lounge with free internet!

God has blessed me in so many little ways and lately I find myself crying almost daily as I'm reminded of his goodness in my life. He is so sweet and He cares so deeply for me. I just want to give Him everything - all that I am, all my potential, all my life, every breath - it's yours Lord. My Jesus is so incredibly faithful. The turbulence on the airplane was almost unbearable. It seems to get worse every time I fly from Honolulu to L.A. Yet it always brings me into the presence of the Lord, so I guess it's really a blessing in disguise. I just kept proclaiming scriptures over me and the airplane - like Psalm 91:11. And then my heart hurt for all the people on our plane who don't know Jesus and who haven't felt His unexplainable peace and love. It truly breaks my heart. Lord I long to bring people closer to you!!

The Lord spoke this verse to me - to cast my worries and cares on Him and allow Him to give me His yoke. I was quite flustered and stressed about the turbulence that I felt it through every inch of my face and head. As soon as I released it to the Lord He whispered so many things to my heart. He reminded me to always give authority to His Spirit in me. To command my Spirit to tell my body and my mind to calm down because I am in the palm of God's hand. There is no level of height in air that God is not already at.

He has really been teaching me how to live by the Spirit and not allow my body or my emotions control me or my thoughts. He also said we would have many many more airplane rides together and I had to go through this turbulence and learn to trust Him and live in His peace because He is preparing me for the future. I can't put hope in my country and its flight/TSA regulations or even in the airplane or the pilot. I must put my complete trust in the Lord because everything else will fail me.

Once I released my yoke to Him, He gave me His and it is not burdensome. It is actually very exciting. I don't have to worry about getting into grad school or about flying or even trying to save the world. The Lord has given me His burden for the lost, but it is not overwhelming, it's exhilarating! I know God is not finished with me here on earth yet. I am amazed at how He is using me and the dreams He has given me. I finally feel confident in the calling He has placed on my life!! I am ready to continue walking in it! These last few years God has been teaching me to rely solely on Him.

On the plane I kept thinking if only I had someone with me then I could be strong. The Lord is my someone and even if it's just the two of us the rest of this journey I will be more than ok. Oh Lord thank you for loving me. Thank you for taking my burdens on yourself and giving me your light burden. Oh Jesus help me to stay focused on you. Help me to turn to you for relaxation and "distraction" instead of turning to entertainment, like TV or movies and shopping. Give me the strength and the desire to give up my enjoyment of TV and shopping. Purify me and make me clean so that I can be the most effective during the time I have with you on this earth. Continue changing my heart and making it more and more like yours. I love you.

The Star that Led to Jesus

2010-11-19T20:21:00.000-08:00

Matthew 2:2 - "Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star as it rose and we have come to worship him."

The story of Christmas often becomes too familiar that I miss its freshness and importance. These wise men weren't just any wise men. Out of all their colleagues, they were the truly wise ones. I'm sure there were many royal astrologers from where they came from, yet they were the ones who followed the star. I'm sure their colleagues initially saw the star too but decided not to give it much further thought. This group of men devoted part of their lives to tracking this start and then left everything familiar to go to a place they had never been before - all for Jesus.

I love this picture! I don't ever want to miss something so simple as a star among the many other lights in the sky. I want to always be moving in the same direction as Jesus, even if it means living outside my comfort zone. I love you Lord with all my heart. Help me to clearly see the star that leads to you this Christmas season.

Leaving an Unseen Legacy

2010-11-16T20:12:00.000-08:00

2 Corinthians 3:3 - Clearly, you are a letter from Christ showing the result of our ministry among you. This "letter" is written not with pen and ink, but with the Spirit of the living God. It is carved not on tablets of stone, but on human hearts.

In the world where seeing is everything, faith and promises of word don't mean a whole lot. People need visible proof to back anything of worth; and even sometimes that is not enough. Paul ran into this problem with the Corinthians who wanted proof in the form of a letter to show the good things that were going on. Yet Paul saw that need as a way to praise themselves instead of the One who was doing the good work among them.

In my life and season of ministry right now it's hard to always see the proof of what God has done through me. Lately I've been disappointed wondering what kind of impact I've made. Yet lately the Lord has clearly been showing me the impact goes beyond what I see now. It is a legacy left not so much with pen and ink but with the Holy Spirit on human hearts. And that is the best legacy I can leave. As wonderful as office systems and procedures are, they will always be updated and changed - not to say that I should neglect my administrative duties - but the most lasting legacy will be seen in the hearts of the people the Lord allowed me to serve and love.

So Lord help me to love those you've called me to love these next 2 months. Help me to be your light and sweet perfume that they know and understand as a direct reflection of you. As one of the ladies put it - help me to be "so transformed into your image that I stand out among the rest!" I love you Lord with all my heart.

Eternal Impact

2010-11-14T20:00:00.000-08:00

1 Corinthians 15:58 - So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless."

It is east to become discouraged, especially when we cannot see visible results. It may seem useless on the outside to even invest time or energy or resources on someone or something that doesn't seem grateful or improving. And yet if it is an eternal investment, it is never useless. Most eternal investments won't even be seen or fully realized until we get to heaven. And so Paul encourages me to be strong and immovable. Even when I am tempted to withdraw because of a lack of expressed gratitude or visible results by those I am pouring into - God is still working and the greatest work may be in me.

A lack of gratefulness in our youth reminds me of how God feels when I fail to live and express my gratefulness to him. It also reminds me to express my gratitude for the people in my life. As I stand strong and immovable on the things of the Lord, I must also work enthusiastically on what He has called me to.Today I was reminded that even though I don't realize it, my faithfulness to the Lord has an impact on those around me. The mom whose kids I babysit told me that they chose me as the person who best reflects Christ in their lives. They said that if Jesus was physically walking on earth right now He would look a lot like me because I live out my faith and reflect Him. What a testament to God's faithfulness in my life! Remaining faithful to Him is my joy and delight. And to be reminded that my faithfulness to Him is seen by others helps me to keep going.

Thank you Lord for this little reminder. Three years in Hawaii were not wasted, but greatly purposed by You. Thank you for bringing my here and allowing me to be part of such a wonderful church family. Help me to finish these last 44 days strong. I love you.

Not Reacting on a Whim

2010-11-02T19:52:00.000-07:00

Mark 11:11 - So Jesus came to Jerusalem and went into the Temple. After looking around carefully at everything he left because it was late in the afternoon.

Jesus knew the time he had left was short. His every step was strategic. He came to Jerusalem with a purpose and the first place he stopped was the Temple. I'm sure he didn't like what he saw as all the merchants were closing up shop. And although it made him furious and broke his heart, he didn't do anything. He wanted to bring his initial shock to his Father and allow his reaction to be right and holy. It wasn't until the next day and his second visit to the Temple that he reacted. Maybe it was because he wanted to make sure that more people would be there or maybe he didn't want to act on a whim and be lead by his emotions.

I know for me I often allow my emotions to guide me. Instead of waiting overnight to make sure my motivations are right, I go ahead and send that email right away or I make that purchase or I act out that feeling. Deep down I really want to do things God's way, but I react too soon. It's hard to wait for God's timing. It's hard not to allow my emotions to guide me. I pray that like Jesus I would be able to sense the Spirit working and whispering to me. That I wouldn't react on a whim, even if it is for a right God-pleaseing purpose. Everything may be totally right but not at the right time to be most effective or most purposeful. So Lord forgive me for acting on impulse and wanting things my way. Help me to live for you and to seek your ways above my own. I love you.

Faith for the Journey

2010-10-27T19:42:00.000-07:00

Acts 28:15 - The brothers and sisters in Rome had heard we were coming and they came to meet us ... when Paul saw them, he was encouraged and thanked God.

Paul knew God was leading him to Rome to share the Gospel there. It had been confirmed to him in his heart and mind despite the setbacks. I'm sure when he first realized the dream and call to Rome he pictured it happening a certain way. He probably even made preliminary plans in his head as to how it would happen. Yet I imagine the actual journey there looked nothing like he thought it would. He went to Rome as a prisoner and was shipwrecked for 3 months before actually arriving. It must have been really challenging along the way and if he wasn't able to really hear God's voice and sense His Spirit working, he could have easily lost all hope. Yet God was faithful and Paul knew God's ways were better than any plans he could make on his own.

I would have loved to be with Paul the moment he arrived in Rome. He reached the destination God was leading him to, yet the adventure was far from over. I know in my life things don't always work out the way I picture them. God-given dreams and goals almost always look different then how I imagine them. It is easy to get discouraged along the way on the journey and much harder to remember God is in control. There are times when I wonder if I am really headed in the direction God is leading or if I am following my own hidden desires. I was reminded yesterday that I can't miss it with the Spirit, as long as I am in tune daily/weekly with the Lord, I am headed in the right direction.

Lord help me to clearly hear your voice and sense your leading me. Help me to die to my selfish ways and allow your ways to direct my heart and my thoughts. Continue to renew the vision you've given me, just like you reminded Paul where you were leading him. Give me the strength on the journey when it doesn't look the way I pictured it. I love you.

Surrendering to His Will

2010-10-25T15:01:00.001-07:00

Acts 21:14 - When it was clear that we couldn't persuade him, we gave up and said "The will of the Lord be done."

Paul was very loved by the people he served with and ministered to. He knew that God was leading him to Jerusalem and then to Rome. And as much as he was anxious and ready to continue on the path God was leading him, he was sad because he was leaving people he loved and he knew the road ahead held unknown challenges. Even Paul experienced the love and appreciation he might not have realized until he was leaving. (side note: it is important to love and show appreciation to people in the everydayness, not just when saying goodbye) As much as they didn't want to believe that Paul was leaving them, they knew no amount of persuasion could keep the Lord from accomplishing his will - so they stopped fighting it and surrendered to it, knowing God's ways are best.

Trying to persuade God into something - whether it be out of a desire or a sense of entitlement - is futile. When it comes down to it, there is nothing that trumps my desire for God's will to be accomplished in every part of my life. Of course there are moments of weakness where I allow my desire to overpower His, but even so, deep in my heart I know and understand that His ways and thoughts are higher than mine. This is not to say that persuasion in the form of prayer is futile - for it is often in those moments of prayer that God realigns my thoughts with His.

So Lord forgive me for trying to persuade you or myself from something that is Your will in my life. Help me to surrender to Your ways in every part of my life. Thank you for the many blessings you have given me in this season - beautiful friends, an amazing church family, and an opportunity to speak into and influence the lives of young girls. I love you.

Stewarding the "Clinginess"

2010-10-14T14:52:00.000-07:00

Acts 3:11 - They all rushed out to Solomon's Colonnade, where he was holding tightly to Peter and John. Everyone stood there in awe of the wonderful thing that had happened.

This was the first major healing that took place without Jesus being physically present in body. Peter being filled with the Holy Spirit was able to meet this man's biggest need and give him the ability to walk. As soon as he was healed he was walking, leaping, and praising God! But as the crowd began to grow out of amazement and bewilderment, he held tightly to Peter and John. Although he was healed, he wasn't fully whole because he couldn't stand on his own and defend his own faith in Christ. Instead of getting annoyed that this man who Peter had healed and was now clinging quite tightly to him and drawing a lot of attention, Peter used the opportunity to share about Jesus and the salvation found in Him alone. Verse 12 says Peter saw his opportunity and addressed the crowd inside the Temple.

As someone who has walked a few years with Jesus, I know I am called to be a shepherd. But I also know that I often don't use that calling and the opportunities that come with it to the fullest. When one of my girls is clinging to me, my first instinct is to figure out how to put some space between us. I often don't know how to steward the "clinginess" and bring her to wholeness in her faith in Christ. I get caught up in my own uncomfortableness of losing space/privacy/"dignity" that I fail to use the opportunity.

Lord I pray for more opportunities to bring people closer to you, to help them stand on their own faith in you, and to have to the patience to work with them. To see them beyond just accepting you and to a deeper assurance of who they are in you. Thank you for the lambs and sheep you've placed in my life. I am truly blessed and honored to be a shepherd.

Becoming the Answer to the Prayer

2010-10-09T14:43:00.000-07:00

Nehemiah 1:6 - Listen to my prayer! Look down and see me praying night and day for your people Israel.

Nehemiah has just heard news of the wall of Jerusalem being torn down and the gates being burnt. It deeply troubled him and for days he mourned, fasted, and prayed. In those days he would hear the Lord leading him to become the answer to his own prayer - to return to Jerusalem and restore its walls and gates. Nehemiah heard the need, went to his knees and prayed for the need, and then he became the answer to that need.

There are an infinite amount of needs in the world. Often times places where God is working even if we don't realize it. When we hear of needs it is easy to become overwhelmed because we don't know how they can be met or we hope someone is already meeting them. So often instead of praying for them, we end up blocking them out. Or on the other hand if you are like me, you want to jump on the next plane to wherever the world is hurting and go do something about it. Both options are not good, although both begin with good intentions for prayer or action. Rather we should learn from Nehemiah's approach: hear a need, pray for that need, allow God to answer that need, which may include you!

I know for me there are certain ministries on my heart that I need to pray for more. These are ministries meeting needs around the world that I would love to part of. And as I approach a transitional season, I feel like my options are overwhelming. Instead of following every impulse, I really want to make sure I'm going where God is leading. So Lord teach me to deepen my prayer life. Help me to pray for your work around the world without having to want to be around the world. And when the time comes, help me to know when you are leading me to be the answer to my prayers. Teach me the ways of your heart.

While I'm Waiting

2010-10-04T13:36:00.000-07:00

Esther 2:12, 20 - Before each young woman was taken to the king's bed, she was given the prescribed 12 months of beauty treatments ... she was still following Mordecai's directions, just as she did when she lived in his home.

Esther's life up until now was defined mostly by circumstances beyond her control. Her parents had died when she was young and she was adopted by her uncle. As she reached the age of marriage it happened to be at the same time the king was looking for a wife and all the young virgins were forced to become his concubines, or if by chance be the one asked to be his queen. And on top of that, Esther had to wait a whole year before even finding out if she would spend the rest of her life at the palace as a concubine or as a queen.

In that waiting season Esther had a choice to make: would she complain about her present circumstances and worry about her future or would she embrace the waiting time to learn all she would about the king and life at the palace to prepare her for her future. And although she was not living in her uncle's house, she had the choice of whether or not to listen to his guidance. With each decision, Esther sought the Lord and wanted to honor Him. Because of her heart to honor God, God honored her and she became queen - a position God strategically used at that time and place. But if Esther hadn't used the year of waiting to allow the Lord to prepare her, she might not have become queen. That year of preparation was vital for her future assignment.

This is such a great reminder for me not to despise the waiting seasons, but to really allow the Lord to shape me and prepare me for the future. If I don't use the time well right now, my future ministry won't be as effective or impactful.

Lord please help me to learn everything you are trying to teach me right now. Help me to be open to your ways and not try to rush things. May my heart be pleasing to you in everything I do. I love you.

In Between Visions

2010-09-28T13:22:00.000-07:00

Zechariah 1:7 - Three months later the Lord sent another message to the prophet Zechariah.

Prophets were known for their closeness to the Lord. They heard from Him and gave His message to the people. Yet it wasn't up to them when they would hear from him or what the message would be. They were just faithful servants that walked in obedience. The Lord had given Zechariah a message to call the people to return to Him, just as their ancestors had repented and returned in the past. This call to return was followed by 3 months of silence from the Lord. Zechariah had no visions and no new direction, just the simple call to return to the Lord. So for 3 months he walked in obedience and urged the people to do so too. I bet in that time they wondered about their future and the future of Jerusalem. I'm sure they even cried out to the Lord for new vision and direction.

3 months can seem like forever when you are in a waiting season. I know in my life it is quite difficult to wait on the Lord for direction, whether it be 3 months or 3 years. All I can do is remain obedient to what He has called me to in the season - to stay faithful in the small things and trust that my future is in His hands. And to know that God will give me understanding for the area He wants to help me understand, which may not be the area where I am seeking understanding. I pray that in the meantime, whether it be the 3 years or the 3 months that God would teach me to trust him and make my life radiant. That He would help me "make sure the light I think I have in certain areas is not actually darkness" (Luke 11:35).

Lord give me grace in this waiting season. Help me not to get anxious, but to trust you and stay faithful and obedient to what you've called me to. Chip away everything in me that is not of you. Help me to gain the understanding that you are trying to teach me right now. I love you with all my heart.

Safe even in Real Danger

2010-09-25T13:04:00.000-07:00

Luke 8:22-25 - One day Jesus said to his disciples, "Let's cross to the other side of the lake"... the boat was filling with water and they were in real danger ... then he asked them, "where is your faith?"

Jesus had begun his ministry, he knew his mission and purpose and his disciples went along for the ride. It was along the way that they truly began to see and understand who Jesus was and what it meant to follow Him. It was an adventure to say the least - full of excitement but also danger. The disciples soon found out that in order to continue their adventure in following Jesus it would require giving up everything.

Although it's not always easy, my walk with Jesus is an adventure. He is so incredibly faithful and I am reminded of His faithfulness in every season of my life. Even now as once again my faith and trust in Him is tested. He guides me and leads me in His perfect way and perfect timing.

Jesus lead the disciples to take a boat to the other side of the lake, knowing that it would put them in danger. I love how the Bible says "and they were in real danger." Their fear was justified because they were in real danger. They weren't over-reactiving or making the storm seem bigger then it was. And yet even though they were in real danger, Jesus expected them to have faith in Him. He was there and He was in control, even though the storm seemed out of control.

In my life when things are uncertain I usually default to panic mode. In panic I try to remain calm and convince myself that it will be ok, often downplaying the "real danger" that I may be facing. The Lord so sweetly reminded me not to invalidate the fact that at times of uncertainty I am in real danger - whether it be physically in the inner city or financially with figuring out how I will pay my rent - the "danger" is obvious. That is what makes trusting Jesus so sweet and comforting. He will never leave me or forsake me and no matter how big the storm really is I am safe in His arms. He lead me to the storm to get to the other side and He will faithfully bring me there. Yes it may be scary along the way, but God is faithful.

Thank you Lord for this beautiful reminder. I am continually amazed at how you lead me.

Faithful in the Assignment

2010-09-20T12:51:00.000-07:00

Daniel 6:4 - Then the other administrators and princes began searching for some fault in the way Daniel was handling his affairs, but they couldn't find anything to criticize. He was faithful and honest and always responsible.

Many things in Daniel's life were beyond his control. He was taken captive at a young age and brought to a foreign land to serve a king who did not honor God. Yet he knew God was in control of his life, so he approached every situation as an opportunity to honor the Lord. He was soon recognized and promoted, yet not without challenge. Besides the obvious challenge of being persecuted for his faith, I wonder if he ever doubted the assignment given to him. I wonder if he wondered if it was part of God's plan or if he should go in a different direction. He was made an administrator by the king and given much responsibility. And even if he did at times not feel qualified or equipped or even not enjoy doing what he was assigned to do - he was faithful and honest and always responsible in it. After a while it probably didn't matter so much what he was doing, as long as he remained obedient to the Lord he knew it would bring glory to the Lord.

Sometimes I get so caught up in the task itself that it determines whether I will be fully obedient and complete it in a way that is done excellently and brings honor to God. There are certain things I get tired of doing that I don't do them with excellence or with a very obedient heart. my desire is that people will take notice of my faithfulness in the little things and not find areas to criticize my performance because I complete the task with an obedient heart that brings God the most glory.

Lord forgive me for complaining about the task/assignment. Help me to do it faithfully and with joy in this season. Help me to bring you glory in everything.

Not Leaving the Same

2010-09-18T12:37:00.000-07:00

Ezekiel 46:9 - But when the people come in through the north gateway to worship the Lord during the religious festivals, they must leave by the south gateway. And those who entered the south gateway must leave by the north gateway. They must never leave by the same gateway they came in, but must always use the opposite gateway.

Being in God's presence was a high privilege that was usually only experienced once a year when the Israelites came to the Temple. They were forgiven thru sacrifice and renewed in worship. It was the Lord's design that they would leave His presence changed. They were even given instructions not to leave by the same gateway they had entered the Temple.

What a simple yet powerful statement. I never want to leave God's presence unchanged. I know thru the gift of the Holy Spirit that He never actually leaves me. But I also know that there are times of worship and times spent reading His word and writing down His whisper that I experience His presence anew and afresh. I pray that I would not leave these times the same way I entered them. It's easy to forget what the Lord whispers to my heart when I return to routine or feel stuck in the mundane. By default I naturally return thru the door I came in because it's what I know and am comfortable with. But I pray that before I even leave the moment in His presence that the Lord would show me what needs to change and give me the strength to carry it out with a tangible plan. At times it may be big changes, but often I find it's usually really small changes that are just as important.

Lord thank you for this reminder. May I never leave high emotional times in your presence serving You the same way I entered them. Help me not to leave this weekend retreat the same. Speak to my heart and renew my vision. Set up divine appointments where I can minister your love and also be reminded of your love for me. I love you with all my heart. Each day with you is a blessing and privilege that I treasure.

Emotionally Low

2010-09-16T12:17:00.000-07:00

Ezekiel 40:2 - In a vision of God he took me to the land of Israel and set me down on a very high mountain. From there I could see what appeared to be a city across from me toward the south ... He was holding in his hand a measuring tape and a measuring rod.

The Lord gave Ezekiel a vision for the future of Jerusalem and the exact dimensions of the new temple. Each room was specifically seen and described, giving Ezekiel an almost exact blueprint for the temple that he could bring to the Israelites. As I was reading the dimensions of each room and the walls, I was tempted to just skip some of it. After a while I got the point. But the Lord quietly reminded me to keep reading every detail. This got my emotions excited, thinking maybe He would reveal something new and exciting after all the mundane stuff.

But I was wrong, nothing new and exciting popped out at the end of the reading - something more powerful did - something I really needed to hear from the Lord. "Lisa, you cannot just move from one exciting thing to another in your life with me. You need to take a step back and look at your life from a very high mountain and allow me to cast a vision and create a blueprint for you. It may not seem exciting, to write down each measurement and dimension, but it is necessary in your faithfulness to me." As it says in Psalm 128:1-4, the Lord reminded me, "How happy are those who fear the Lord - all who follow His ways! You will enjoy the fruit of your labor. How happy you will be! How rick your life! Your life will be like a fruitful vine, flourishing within your home. And look at all those children! There they sit around your table as vigorous and healthy as young olive trees. That is the Lord's reward for those who fear him."

Remaining faithful to the Lord isn't always easy. I try to move from one high to another in serving Him that it is hard to be content in the in between. Even my time with Him is cut short because I feel like I'm just waiting for my next project at a small level or assignment at a bigger level so I can go on with the busyness and productiveness I so enjoy. Instead of moving from one high to another so quickly, I need to use the downtime to realign my heart, goals, and dreams with the Lord. I need to press into Him and allow Him to map out my next steps, which may include more waiting or maybe it may mean taking new initiative. I really won't know until I sit down and do it. It's hard sometimes to evaluate where I've been and where I'm going because I'm so used to just going and going.

Lord help me to wait on you and allow you to speak to me so I can write down what you are sitting in my heart. Sometimes I let my emotions control me, when you are trying to teach me how to control my emotions and align them with your ways. Speak to my heart as I evaluate where you are leading me. Help me to stay faithful in the small things and to really trust you in it all. I love you with all my heart and I want your best in everything. Help me to continually give you all my heart as I serve you.

Genuine Love for Others

2010-08-30T08:37:00.000-07:00

Ezekiel 9:4 - ..."put a mark on the foreheads of all those who weep and sigh because of the sings they see around them."

There was much sin in Israel and the Lord revealed to Ezekiel the coming judgment. The people had disregarded the Lord in worship, instead they turned to other gods. Most thought it was too late to return to the Lord because they no longer saw Him working or felt His presence. Yet even so He was working and it was never too late. It is interesting how the "righteous" are identified and shown mercy. They are the ones weeping because of all the sin they see around them. It breaks their hearts because they see how far people are turning away from the Lord.

My heart needs to be more sensitive to the things of the Lord. I get so wrapped up in myself and how I am doing that I forget to allow the things that break God's heart to break mine. As long as I am doing ok then everything is ok, when the Lord wants me to be concerned about the spiritual welfare of others too. My heart should break when I see people sin, moving further away form the Lord. God is working in them and around them, they just need to be made aware of it instead of looking for peace and fulfillment somewhere else. Reminds me of "Eat, Pray, Love" and how it broke my heart to see people looking for peace and balance in all the wrong places. They settle for half-truths (or lies) because they look nicer and more appealing, even trendier, then the whole truth. I pray that somehow they would come to know Jesus and true peace/balance.

Lord break my heart for what breaks yours. Give me a heart for others, a true genuine love for them that comes from you. I want to be used by you to touch a hurting world longing for you but realizing or understanding that you are what will satisfy their deepest longings.

Revealing Truth

2010-08-25T12:19:00.000-07:00

Jeremiah 38:4 - "Sir, this man must die! That kind of talk will undermine the morale of the few fighting men we have left, as well as that of all the people, too."

People all across time are somewhat the same in that we don't like to hear bad news. We would rather focus on positive things and avoid conflict as much as possible even at the cost of fixing a problem. Unfortunately for Jeremiah he was often the bearer of bad news. His messages from the Lord told of coming destruction because of disobedience and a lack of repentance. Many leaders wanted Jeremiah dead because it seemed like he had nothing good to say. Some military officials felt this way particularly because Jeremiah was calling for surrender to the Babylonians. And out of pride they didn't want to believe it.

Although it is true that even in seasons of hardship the overall morale of the people should be kept high, it doesn't mean that God's truth should be kept hidden. Sometimes God reveals something to a leader that may not be "positive" but without it the situation will never be changed for the positive. I know when I hear people, especially leaders in the church say something negative about worship or the office or whatever, it is hard not to take it personal and get discouraged. I would rather hear encouraging words, especially for the sake of "morale." But God is reminding me that although at first it may not sound positive, it will turn into something positive because it is His truth that reveals it.

Lord help me to be more open to constructive criticism. Help me to trust the discernment of the leaders around me and to know when you are trying to reveal truth thru them. Help me not to take things personal but to allow you to work in me and correct anything so that my life will bring you glory.

A Test of Obedience

2010-08-18T19:21:00.000-07:00

Jeremiah 33:5, 6 - I set cups and jugs of wine before them and invited them to have a drink, but they refused.

God did not make obedience impossible. And he did not leave his people without hope. The Recabites were the example God used of faithfulness. He sent Jeremiah to meet them without him knowing why he was meeting them. He was simply given instructions to offer them wine. Little did he know that they did not drink wine out of faithfulness to God who spoke to one of their ancestors. God used Jeremiah to test their obedience, then he used them as an example to the rest of the Israelites that full obedience is possible and rewarding.

I wonder how God tests my obedience. It may seem silly at first. Like Jeremiah who probably wondered why God asked him to offer the Recabites wine when all he wanted to do was figure out why God directed him to them in the first place. He would eventually find out that the "minor" part of walking in obedience would actually answer the "major" part. His question of "why?" would be answered in the "how?" I know sometimes I get so caught up in "why?" or the end result that I downplay the importance of "how?" or the process of getting to the end. God often asks me to do "silly" things in obedience to him that I too often view as minor. He may be using my obedience to test someone else's, especially the youth girls that I mentor.

I pray that I would continually walk in full obedience to him and his ways, not afraid to be outside my comfort zone of my self image or "dignity." Lord help me never to downplay obedience, but to see the silly little things along the way as vital to the end result. My heart's desire is to live in obedience to you, fully surrendering my heart to you. I love you.

Ways of Serving

2010-08-10T13:21:00.000-07:00

John 12:2 - A dinner was prepared in Jesus' honor. Martha served, and Lazarus sat at the table with him.

Martha had a servant's heart, always taking care of those in her home. Previously she was scolded for worrying about all the details in serving. She probably remembered that this time. As Mary washed Jesus' feet with perfume, she kept on serving in the way she knew best without passing judgment on Mary again. For Mary was also serving in the best way she knew how and both women found wholeness and healing in their acts of service to Jesus.

It is easy to think of serving in one particular way, especially when we become accustomed or conditioned to it. When we see someone serving in a different way it's hard not to "judge" and make one a lesser act of service and one a greater one. Although Mary received public recognition for her act of service, Jesus was also pleased with Martha's.

It is hard for me not to value a way of serving over another. There seem to be different seasons of service in life - Martha seasons (like doing office work) and Mary seasons (like loving on the youth). Both bring honor to God and both are important. I need to continually seek the Lord and not always try to focus on "Mary service." I also need to be careful not to judge others in their service, thinking they should be serving Jesus the same way I am. What God is asking of me may not be what he is asking of someone else.

Lord help me to always know where you want me to serve you. Forgive me for judging others for not being like me. Help me to see thru eyes of grace and understand what you are doing in other's lives. I love you.

Reality Check

2010-07-25T03:48:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 44:20 - The poor deluded fool feeds on ashes. He is trusting something that can give him no help at all. Yet the cannot bring himself to ask, "Is this thing, this idol that I'm holding in my hand, a lie?"

God is a jealous God and he wanted every part of His people. He did not want to just be one of many gods they honored, He wanted to be the only God. He understood their human nature and how they tried to be like everyone else. But He also tried to rationalize with them that essentially all their other gods were merely wood and would not help them in any way. Yet somehow they were attached to their idols and never really wanted to face the reality that the idol was of no value whatsoever.

It is easy to get caught up in things of no value. We put value in them because the world, our culture, and the people around us put value into them. yet we don't want to face the reality that we are trusting something that can give us no help at all. I know I do this without realizing it. I put a lot, and I mean a lot, of value in my "unknown" future. I have this picture in my head of how much better life will be once I get married or move away from Hawaii or do ministry with different people. I end up putting my trust in my ideal future that i make it an idol. I have to ask myself if this "ideal" (whatever it is) that I'm holding onto is a lie. And honestly I hate to admit it, but it is. I like to think the details of the picture in my head are from the Lord, but most of the time they're not. Essentially I am trusting in something that is not real and can give me no help at all.

Lord I surrender my future marriage, relationships, jobs, ministry, family, and life to you. Change me desires and ideals to your desires and ideals for me. I've given you my whole heart and I trust you with it. Help me not to keep tugging on it when it's already in your hands. I love you.

Unexpected Truth

2010-07-22T03:42:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 36:6 - If you lean on Egypt, it will be like a reed that splinters beneath your weight and pierces your hand. Pharaoh, the king of Egypt, is completely unreliable!

The Assyrian king taunted and threatened Israel. He mocked Hezekiah an belittled the Lord. Yet he chose his words wisely. There was some truth in them. Like this verse - it was true that Egypt wouldn't help them. The Israelites learned early on that if they put their hope in Egypt they would be disappointed. So in one sense this word of truth was a good reminder for past mistakes.

It is easy to ignore someone or what they say because it doesn't all match up with God's truth. But oftentimes part of it may be true and God may be speaking thru them even if ultimately what they say is not true. It's hard to put into words. Personally if someone has wronged me or lead me astray in the past, I tend to ignore or overlook their words in the present. But God may be speaking thru them. I need to test everything for His truth and not just dismiss it because of past hurt.

Lord help me not to dismiss something when you are trying to speak thru it. Give me clear understanding and take away the blurriness caused by hurt, fear, or insecurity. Please make me more like you, especially where I am lacking right now. Help me know how to open up to people even though I am afraid to get hurt. Please change my heart and give me your compassion. Be in every part of my relationships. I love you.

Focused Listening

2010-07-21T03:28:00.000-07:00

2 Kings 18:25 - What's more, do you think we have invaded your land without the Lord's direction? The Lord himself told us, "Go and destroy it."

The king of Assyria used Israel's weaknesses against them. He knew their past and how they disobeyed the Lord. He challenged the authority of Hezekiah who was anointed by God as king. He even went so far as to challenge Hezekiah's discernment from the Lord in moving the worship place to only in Jerusalem. And even though God was pleased with Hezekiaah and his faithfulness, the king of Assyria still spoke against him. Hezekiah probably wondered if what the king of Assyria said was true. Maybe this was part of God's plan because of their past disobedience. What if God was using the king of Assyria to carry out his will? I can imagine how discouraged Hezekiah felt, especially because his people were in a state of confusion. He did the best thing and went right to the Lord in prayer and received counsel from Isaiah, the prophet.

Many people will claim to hear from the Lord or in an attempt to manipulate or out of pride in themselves they will discourage me from what the Lord has called me to. It is hard to know and discern, especially when I get discouraged, whether it be regarding my role at the church or my relationship status. Sometimes I doubt if I really am staying faithful and doing things God's way, especially when I feel like the only one. In times like these I really need to press into the Lord and receive confirmation for where I am in life and what he has called me to do. For now I know I am called to be single and not date around, even though it is hard and people my question me. Lord give me the strength to stay true to who you've called me to be. Help me to turn directly to you when I get discouraged. Please correct me when I'm wrong and not get defensive. I love you.

Worshipping Correctly

2010-07-19T03:08:00.000-07:00

2 Kings 17:26 - The people whom you have resettled in the towns of Israel do not know how to worship the God of the land. He has sent lions among them to destroy them because they have not worshipped him correctly.

The Israelites wanted the best of both worlds, so to speak. The wanted God's favor but also wanted the world's favor. They ended up compromising and worshipping both God and the gods of the people around them. So the Lord warned them many times that He wanted all of them and that it wasn't worth it to disobey Him. Yet they didn't repent and soon the became so complacent that they didn't even realize God's presence wasn't with them. Their judgment was compromised and they no longer saw between right and wrong. Because they didn't honor God's covenant, new people settled in their Promised Land. These new people did not worship God, even when they were taught how to worship God, they did it incorrectly because it wasn't full-heartedly. They mixed it in with all their former ways and God became one of many gods that they honored. So they lived in this melting pot that did not honor God, even on his own turf. And so God's favor left them.

It is easy to get caught up in busyness or even complacency and not even realize God's presence is no longer there. It is easy to do things the way we like them so as not to offend anyone or make anyone, self included, uncomfortable. When that happens, our faith and life are compromised. And instead of bringing people closer to Jesus, teaching them how to worship Him, we end up adopting their ways and deceiving ourselves into thinking it's ok and it's part of our plan to save them. I know this is something our youth will struggle with right now after camp. They learned how to correctly worship the Lord, but if they don't keep it up, they will forget and they will compromise without realizing it. And really it's not going to seem like a big deal because compromise starts in the smallest of things, like music and conversation. I need to encourage them by example in listening to worship music and even making them CDs so they can worship on their own. I also need to direct the conversation back to Jesus and not the Justin Beiber concert :)

I pray the Lord gives me the wisdom to speak into their lives these next couple weeks. To build on the foundation of their faith and not become complacent to their growth and what God is doing in their lives. Even if it may be uncomfortable or make me unpopular. I want to continue teaching them how to worship correctly - with every part of their lives.

Pathways of the Wind

2010-06-09T08:08:00.000-07:00

Ecclesiastes 11:5, 6 - God's ways are as hard to discern as the pathways of the wind, and as mysterious as a tiny baby being formed in a mother's womb. Be sure to stay busy and plant a variety of crops, for you never know which will grow - perhaps they all will.

On one hand God is predictable because he never changes and his love and faithfulness are never ending. But on the other hand it is often difficult to understand his ways and to see him working in the midst of things that don't make sense. It is hard when God gives you a certain calling and yet the path to get there is as unpredictable as the pathway of the wind. God doesn't follow any "logical" (in our thinking) pattern and yet he is always 100% without a doubt in control and working.

I love how the Teacher of Ecclesiastes comes to the conclusion that because God's ways are hard to discern we must stay busy (or stay faithful to the little things God calls us to) planting a variety of crops to allow the Lord to grow and flourish the ones he wants us to focus on and to see him working. Even in disappointment God is in control and nothing is without purpose. And when we continue to seek the Lord and trust his ways, we begin to see him working in spite of disappointment. After all, his ways (no matter how hard to discern) are always best and I would rather follow his plan then any plan I could dream up on my own, even when it doesn't make sense.

Thank you Lord for loving and calling me and encouraging me this morning. I know you are in control and I pray that you would open my eyes to where you are working. Please bring comfort and overwhelming peace to my family today. We love you and we know nothing is out of your control, even the wind.

People-Pleasing at its Finest

2010-06-03T14:03:00.000-07:00

Romans 15:2 - We should please others. If we do what helps them, we will build them up in the Lord.

Paul encouraged the Romans not to criticize/judge each other, but to love each other. Not to allow little things to divide them, but to allow God to unite them. He even urges them to live to please others. People-pleasing is not usually a quality that is valued. It is often seen as a hindrance in a person's life. When they focus on pleasing others, it is often assumed that they are wasting their time. In our individualistic culture, the only person you need to please is yourself. "Be true to yourself and your will always succeed."

I love how it says in Proverbs 27:21 "Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but a person is tested by being praised." It is true, the more we strive to please people, the more we thrive on their praise. And yet that is not what we are called to live for. The test is if we receive the praise of others or redirect it to the only one worth of our praise - Jesus. Like Paul writes, we should please others and make it out goal to build them up, always thinking about God's best for them. It's not about me, it's about Jesus and how I can be used by him to touch others. If I am living out this call, I will be receiving "praise" from others. Yet the ultimate goal is not to receive praise, but to praise and point back to Christ. So I do want to be a "people-pleaser" because when I am helping others I am honoring the Lord. The key is not living for the praise of "man" but living to praise the Lord and find fulfillment in Him alone.

What a beautiful concept that can be so easily twisted or misunderstood by our culture. Thank you Lord for revealing this to me and for creating me as a "people-pleaser" as an expression and redirection of praise and honor to you. I love you!

Wondrous Overwhelming Glory

2010-05-25T11:57:00.000-07:00

1 Kings 10:1 – When the queen of Sheba heard of Solomon’s fame, which brought honor to the name of the Lord, she came to test him with hard questions.

Solomon was known for his wisdom. He had been given one “wish” from the Lord and he wisely chose wisdom. Because of his choice he would be forever known as the wisest man who ever lived. Yet it wasn’t for himself. His fame wasn’t really his – it was the Lord who gave him the wisdom. And because he gave credit to the Lord, it wasn’t empty fame, but fame that brought honor to the name of the Lord. Even when the queen of Sheba experienced this famed wisdom, it overwhelmed her. It wasn’t just the wisdom – that would have been cause enough for glory to God – it was every detail of the kingdom and palace. From the food on the tables to the organization of the officials to their splendid clothing – everything! (verse 5) It all pointed back to the Lord and every detail was marked by excellence, giving glory to the Lord.

I LOVE this!! Solomon attracted attention and built a reputation, but the amazing thing was how it all pointed to God! Every detail! I love that even the admin and fashion departments brought glory to God. These were no small details because they were marked by excellence. The queen of Sheba came for the wisdom but left with an overwhelming sense of God’s wondrous glory. I want to be marked by this same glory! I want every detail of my life to point to the Lord and his excellence. May my “reputation” be the kind that honors the Lord because it’s not my own doing, but my being a daughter of the King! May the way I organize and present my office, home, car, clothes, food, etc bring glory to God.

Thank you Lord for this beautiful reminder that my life is meant to bring honor to your name Please help me to always be mindful of this in every image I project. I don’t want to project myself, I want to represent you and spread your fame. Use me and shape me as your vessel.

Rightfully Wrong

2010-05-17T13:42:00.000-07:00

1 Kings 2:15 - "As you know, the kingdom was rightfully mine; all Israel wanted me to be the next king. But the tables were turned, and the kingdom went to my brother instead; for that is the way the Lord wanted it."

Adonijah was the second born after Absalom, since Absalom's revolt failed and he was now dead Adonijah saw himself as the next in line for the throne. Like Absalom he persuaded the people to support him. When that failed because David put a stop to it by publicly anointing Solomon, he took matters into his own hands. He now realized he was doing something against the Lord and of course he justified it - making his request seem small and insignificant. Yet the Lord gave Solomon the wisdom to see thru it and offer no more grace. He was so blatantly acting against the Lord. Maybe at first he did not see it, persuading himself that he was entitled to the throne, but towards the end he openly acknowledged that the Lord wanted Solomon to be the next king.

It is so easy to be so wrong yet think you are so right. Whether it be out of a sense of entitlement or "righteousness," I somehow can convince myself that I am right and justify my actions. Yet as soon as I see myself as deserving of something, it should trigger a red flag. Even if I very well may be deserving or "right" it is not my role to carry it out. If it is meant to happen, God will take care of it. Once I start to make things happen my own way, I lose sight of the Lord and his hand upon my life. Poor Adonijah had it all wrong and he kept convincing himself that he was right.

I pray I never get to that point where I take things in my own hands and act against the Lord and his ways. Lord open my eyes to see where I am wrong but think I am right. Help me to hold my relationship with you higher then my desire to always be "right."

Lord of All

2010-05-12T13:35:00.000-07:00

2 Samuel 21:1 - There was a famine during David's reign that lasted for three years, so David asked the Lord about it. And the Lord said, "The famine has come because Saul and his family are guilty of murdering the Gibeonites."

Towards the end of his life David made more mistakes then when he was first called by the Lord. I'm sure this left him feeling unworthy at times to be close to God or used by him. Isn't that so like us, that when we make a mistake we are ashamed and instead of drawing closer to the Lord we pull away? We settle for the status quo, thinking we are undeserving of God's best. I know I have felt the pain of this. It is often hard to grasp the measure of God's grace and to really fully accept it. David was probably feeling something similar. It took him 3 years to finally ask the Lord why he was allowing a famine in the land. David knew God was sovereign over all yet he waited 3 years before inquiring about something that affected him. Maybe it finally occurred to him to approach the Lord because they were in a time of need where they couldn't find hope anywhere else. Often God is our last resort. We don't realized he is all we need until he is all we have. The Lord promptly answered David and it gave David the guidance to move towards ending the famine.

I wonder if often the Lord is just waiting for me to ask him. Ask him why he is allowing something to happen or what he is trying to teach me or if he is trying to open my eyes to something I can't see on my own. I don't ever want to wait 3 years before bringing something to the Lord, no matter how unworthy and ashamed I feel. I want him to be Lord of all - every part of my life and every part of my world. There is nothing that he is not part of. Lord I invited you to be part of every detail of my life. Teach me to always look to you for guidance. Help me to approach you first and not look for answers elsewhere. I love you so very much, all my heart is yours.

Redefining Responsibility

2010-05-11T13:25:00.000-07:00

2 Samuel 19:43b - The argument continued back and forth, and the men of Judah spoke even more harshly than the men of Israel.

Family arguments are the worst. It seems easier to fight with those closest to us because we know each other the best and we are around each other the most. This was certainly true for God's people, the 12 tribes often quarreled with each other. Here they were arguing over king David and who should be able to help him resettle in Jerusalem. It really was a silly little thing, considering they had just overcome a faction in their nation of Israel. Yet this something little turned into something big that caused a revolt lead by Sheba. And David was there the whole time without saying a word. He could have potentially put the argument to rest right when it started. I'm sure he had many things on his mind and maybe he didn't see it as his problem, so he decided to stay out of it.

I know what it's like to be so busy that one more responsibility, no matter how small, can be overwhelming. Yet I wonder if often I have the power to prevent something little from becoming something big, especially relationally. It might be something with one of my youth girls. Instead of letting it go unnoticed, maybe I'm supposed to address it. Even if it may not be "my responsibility" it might be my opportunity to hold her to a higher standard and release her to God's best. I don't want to keep God's best from anyone! And I don't want to pass up a relational opportunity just because I am so busy with other responsibilities.

I pray that I would always be open to holy distractions (divine appointments). That I would know what the Lord is asking me to focus on each season, each day, no matter how small it seems. Lord help me to be ever aware of the opportunities you give me. Help me to know how to balance the relationships and responsibilities you have given me in this season. My heart's desire is to do your will every moment, no matter how small. Give me your eyes to see every person and every circumstance around me.

Unconditionally Patient

2010-04-20T13:15:00.000-07:00

1 Samuel 23:4 - So David asked the Lord again, and again the Lord replied, "Go down to Keilah, for I will help you conquer the Philistines."

Even in hiding, God was using David. The sad thing is that Saul truly thought God was on his side. Many times he claimed God was with him in his pursuit of David (v. 7, 21), yet not once does he ask him for help. David on the other hand does not move without asking God for direction. Here he even asks twice! He received an affirmative answer the first time, but then his men said they were afraid and did not want to go out of hiding to save the people of Keilah. Instead of encouraging them that it will be alright, David asks the Lord again. And again he receives and affirmative answer. I wonder if David asked again for his men's sake or because his men had him scared and he needed further assurance and confirmation from the Lord. Either way, God doesn't mind and answers him again with a promise that he will be with them as they conquer the Philistines.

I love how unconditionally patient the Lord is. I feel like I often ask him the same question many times looking for further assurance or hoping maybe his answer will change (depending on the circumstance). I don't ever just want to assume God is with me without first seeking him I don't ever want to move from a place unless God goes with me. And I know he will make it very clear when it's time to move on, even if it means I have to ask twice!

Thank you Lord for never leaving me and for being so patient with me. Forgive me for ever doubting you and your faithfulness to lead me You have always been so faithful in my life. Please make it very clear when the time comes and you lead me away from Hawaii. Prepare my heart for it. I love you so much!

The Means of Success

2010-04-15T15:40:00.001-07:00

1 Samuel 17:47 - And everyone will know that the Lord does not need weapons to rescue his people. It is his battle, not ours. The Lord will give you to us!

David was on a break from his regular shepherd duties. He had left his sheep in the care of another shepherd (verse 20) and left to bring food to his brothers at the frontlines. God had equipped him up to that point for everything he was calling him to do. And David walked in that assurance of faith in the Lord God. Even though his oldest brother demeaned, discouraged, and accused him of wrong motives (verse 28), he was still well equipped to do what the Lord called him to do. This confidence didn't come after he killed the giant, it had been built in the season of training as a shepherd. David knew God didn't work in ways that everyone else did. He know he didn't need the training, armor, or weapons of a soldier. God had trained him for this battle in a nonconventional way and all he needed was a stone. Even more so the glory would go to the Lord because there is no natural conclusion that gives David the credit.

I LOVE this about the Lord. "The wisdom of this world is foolishness to God" (1 Corinthians 3:19). I am so encouraged to know that I don't have to go by the world's standards. I don't have to get the formal education the world says I need to do what God has called me to do. Why do I so easily default back to trying to conform to the world? It is such a hard process to renew my mind and thoughts about "success." But God does not use the tools (or weapons) the world says we must have to succeed (or win the battle). All God needs is my heart to change the world!

"Lisa, give me all of your heart and I will train you and equip you for every single thing I've called you to do!" Oh Lord all I am is yours. I am so in awe of how you work and your faithfulness to me. Thank you for this beautiful reminder today. Make my thoughts pleasing to you. I love you.

Potential Distractions

2010-04-10T14:18:00.000-07:00

1 Samuel 9:3 - One day Kish's donkeys strayed away, and he told Saul, "Take a servant with you and go look for them."

Saul was sent to find his father's donkeys who had escaped. He ended up traveling all over the place for days until they finally decided to seek the wisdom of the Lord thru Samuel. This meeting was a divine appointment that God had told Samuel about. Saul soon found out that the donkeys were safe and the real reason he was there was to be anointed as king. He was humble and refused it at first, but as he saw the signs lining up like Samuel prophesied, he began to realize it was never about the donkeys.

It's easy to get caught up in the task at hand and miss the bigger picture. God often uses the task to bring us closer to him and reveal greater insight to us. But if we keep dwelling on the task, it becomes a distraction. Saul could have got caught up in the lost donkeys and missed the whole purpose of God bringing him to Samuel. I can get caught up in my many responsibilities on Sunday that I miss the whole purpose of the services - to connect heart to heart with people and bring them closer to the Lord. And yet sometimes I get it mixed up and people become the distraction to me, when my task is really the distraction. But I wonder if there are times when it could be the other way around. My heart's desire is to be about my Father's business and not get distracted along the way. I can recall many different times when the Lord has used a potential distraction (like lost donkeys) to bring me closer to him.

I pray that I would always be able to see where God is working and how he is trying to get my attention. Lord help me to be on the same page as you. Train my eyes and my mind to be like yours.

Unpredictably Faithful

2010-04-08T14:11:00.000-07:00

Psalm 77:19 - Your road led through the sea, your pathway through the mighty waters - a pathway no one knew was there!

The psalmist recounts the ways of the Lord and His faithfulness to the people. Even in his distress and uncertainty he cries out to the Lord knowing he won't be forgotten. Even when we don't see or understand it, God is working. The Israelites experienced this uncertainty on the way to the Promised Land. God specifically led them to the Red Sea, a dead-end in their eyes, to display His glory. Little did they know that God would guide them thru it while also using it to defeat their enemies. Yet when they approached the water, they complained, thinking that God had led them nowhere, just to die. I love how the psalmist puts it - a pathway no one knew was there!

The only predictable thing about the Lord is His faithfulness. He specializes in working in unconventional ways. Although this is one of the attributes I love about him, it is also frustrating at times. I wonder what He's up to and why He leads me a certain way. Especially when the world and even sometimes the church point to a different route. God is so funny like that. He guides me along a path no one knows is there! Like placing a desire for politics in me, yet leading me to work in full time ministry at a church. Sometimes I just have to laugh out of joy at the way God works. I love how unpredictable yet completely faithful and unchanging God is. It makes the journey so exciting!

Thank you Lord for so faithfully guiding me and making your path so clear even when I don't completely understand it. I am in awe of how you work so intricately in my life. Continue to direct my steps, I surrender my road map to you. I love you.

Reduced to Tears

2010-04-07T12:03:00.000-07:00

1 Samuel 1:7 – Year after year it was the same – Peninnah would taunt Hannah as they went to the Tabernacle. Hannah would finally be reduced to tears and would not even eat.

It was disgraceful for a woman to have no children. Some even took it as a sign of God withholding his blessing, causing judgment on the woman who was barren. Not only that, but Hannah earnestly desired a child. She was favored by her husband and was faithful to the Lord. She couldn’t understand why God did not bless her with children. She shed many tears over it, especially as she saw all the women around her at her age having children. She probably wondered, “How could God allow this to happen to me? I have been so faithful to him and my husband.” Even in her tears, she drew closer to the Lord and cried out to him. She knew when God did give her a son, he would be set apart and she would return him to the Lord. God’s timing is always perfect. She did have a son and he became one of Israel’s greatest prophets – Samuel. The timing had to perfect. If God blessed Hannah with children before Samuel, she wouldn’t have known to dedicate him to the Lord, especially because he wouldn’t have been the first born. He saw Hannah’s heart and faithfulness at a young age and knew he could use her to bare Samuel. She didn’t understand it at the time, when all her friends were having kids.

I am learning more and more that God’s timing is perfect, even if it is hard. It gives me such great hope for my future family and how the Lord will work thru us. It is hard at times to see all my friends getting married and having kids, but even in the tears, I am willing to wait for God’s timing. All I am and hope to become is for the glory of the Lord. It’s not about me. Lord use me for your purposes. Use my family to bring you glory. Be with my future husband, teach him to trust your timing and guard him in all his ways.

Under His Care

2010-04-05T12:01:00.000-07:00

Ruth 2:11b - I have heard how you left your father and mother and your very own land to live here among complete strangers.

Two words that best describe Ruth are loyal and selfless. She lost her husband before she even had a chance to start a family. Yet she wasn't worried about herself or returning to her home with hope of finding a new husband. She loved her mother-in-law and promised to take care of her since her father-in-law had also died. She left the hope of being able to return to a comfortable life with her parents. Boaz knew this and because of it he took care of her. God stirred his heart to be compassionate and used him to take care of her needs.

What a beautiful picture - when we give up everything, including home, comfort, and parents, God takes care of us. This has been so true in my life. Not that I wasn't always taken care of, but it becomes more evident when I don't have my parents to rely on - I go straight to God. I am amazed at how he cares for me. He sends people to bless me and love me. Being away from my family and in a "strange" land is scary and hard sometimes. But having Jesus by my side every minute of it has been incredible. Even the littlest things he cares for. He so clearly takes care of me so I can take care of those around me that He has called me to minister to, just like Ruth.

Thank you Lord for taking care of me. These past couple years in Hawaii have been so wonderful with you by my side. I feel like the two of us together can change the world! Bless all those who have blessed me here and taken care of me on behalf of you. Bless them richly.

Renewed Everyday

2010-04-04T22:26:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 4:16 - That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed everyday.

If we look at the world around us, we have trouble seeing any hope without the eyes of Christ. Even our very own bodies offer us little hope - the older we get the more our bodies decay. We are perishable containers, but as Christians we have an imperishable spirit living in us - that gives us hope! Even more so that glory is given to God who is able to work thru the limits of our bodies. Like a precious treasure, this light and power shine within us! (verse 7) God works thru us to bring more and more people to Christ (verse 15) and that is why we never give up! God gives me supernatural strength and renews my spirit everyday to bring him glory. Even when I am limited by my mind or my body, I keep holding on and never give up because of God's sustaining grace that empowers me so richly everyday!

Like this Easter weekend, my spirit was renewed. In worshipping Jesus thru song my body was weakened, yet my spirit was strengthened. I poured out the little I had and I was completely filled up to overflowing. To have a part in the many salvations this weekend is a true honor. And that is why I never give up. I am so in love with my Jesus who died for me and proves his love for me everyday as his spirit is renewed in me. Thank you Lord for allowing me to be part of this beautiful weekend. I am in awe of you and I find such joy in getting to know you more and more. You are my Savior and all I am is yours. Oh how I love you!

Sacrifice of Thanks

2010-04-01T13:06:00.000-07:00

Psalm 50:8, 14, 15 - "I have no complaint about your sacrifices or the burnt offerings you constantly bring to my altar ... what I want instead is your true thanks to God; I want you to fulfill your vows to the Most High. Trust me in your times of trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory."

It's so easy to get caught up in doing good things - constantly sacrificing time, energy, and resources to the Lord. Although this is good, it isn't everything. God does not need what we give him, it was his in the first place. It's not about my sacrifice to him, but rather my true thanks to him. I just about cried when I read this. God does not want my sacrifice, he just wants my lips to praise and thank him. "Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise - the fruit of lips that confess his name" (Hebrews 13:15). I am so grateful for my God, who he is and what he has done in my life. I truly want to please him in all I do. Yet I get stuck in a routine and I wonder if I'm doing too many "good" things for him instead of really carrying out and pursuing his goal for me. And yet even in everything I "do" I feel like I could be doing more and being challenged more. I think that is why God says to me, "I don't want what you are doing, I want your true thanks."

Lord I am so thankful to your hand upon my life. Help me to know how to live out that thanks. I need you so desperately. I don't want to just be doing things, I really want to just please you. Help me to clearly understand your goal for me right now. Challenge me and mold me. Thank you for loving me. I love you too.

Focused on the Goal

2010-03-31T14:58:00.000-07:00

Judges 9:8, 9 - First, they said to the olive tree, "Be our king!" But it refused saying, "Should I quit producing the olive oil that blesses both God and people, just to wave back and forth over the tress?"

Jotham, Gideon's youngest son, told a parable to illustrate a point. God did not want his people to have a king, as he spoke thru Gideon. Yet Abimelech persuaded them to make him their king, making it sound like something that would benefit them more than him. Jotham compares him to a thorn bush who was the only one of the "trees" that would accept the offer to be king. All the others understood their purpose and knew it wouldn't benefit anyone or even God who created them if they became king.

I love that simple analogy. The various types of trees were created for a specific purpose and they understood that. To stop fulfilling that purpose would stop God's blessings. It is so important for me to understand my purpose or calling not just overall but in each season. Jesus knew the importance of this - it kept him from being distracted by doing good things and focused on the goal. There are so many good things to do, but I am not called to do them all. I want to be about my Father's business, doing what he designed and called me to do.

Lord help me to understand your goal for me in each season. Help me to see where you are working and ask you if you are asking me to part of it. I know one of my focuses right now is the many youth girls you have brought under my care. Give me wisdom and discernment in each moment spent with them. God before us and prepare Friday. May each girl sense your presence in laughter and joy and leave changed.

Encouragement Along the Way

2010-03-29T14:45:00.000-07:00

Judges 7:15 - When Gideon heard the dream and its interpretation, he thanked God. Then he returned to the Israelite camp and shouted, "Get up! For the Lord has given you victory over the Midianites!"

Gideon was called by the Lord, but that wasn't enough to keep him going. Like most others, he needed encouragement and strengthening along the way. He knew that by his own power he would be defeated, so he was careful to note all of God's direction and look for all of God's signs along the way to victory. He had already seen so many signs and even heard God's voice, but just as they were about to attack the Midianites, he creeps up secretly to get a better look at the enemy camp. This could have easily resulted into a default of doing things in his own strength which would cause him to operate out of fear. But God worked thru the enemy and allowed Gideon to hear a prophetic dream that offered him one last and much needed encouragement.

I love how God does that! He works in everything and he always encourages us when we need it. God didn't get impatient with Gideon for consistently needing a "sign" of encouragement , no he continually strengthened Gideon and reminded him he would not fail because he was not doing it alone. Even though I know I am called and I've seen God work so clearly in the past, I need encouragement along the way. And God is so faithful to bring the right people at the right time to encourage me. Whether thru people, situations, his creation, or even his voice (thru the Bible and in my heart), I am continually encouraged to keep on.

Lord thank you for meeting me where I am. Thank you for calling me and encouraging me in every detail of my calling. Use me as an encourager to others. Help me to be more encouraging today. I love you.

Serving the Lord Best

2010-03-22T12:10:00.000-07:00

1 Corinthians 7:35 - I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.

Paul spends an entire chapter on marriage because it is that important. He sums it up in this verse - live in the way on earth that allows you to serve the Lord best, whether that be single or married. He does admit that a single person can better focus on pleasing the Lord, while a married person must focus on pleasing their spouse (and family). Honestly, in my experience/observation most people need a spouse to limit their distractions. They go through their teen years from guy to guy (or girl to girl) bring distracted by the ways of this world. But when they meet and marry their husband (or wife) they are better able to focus on serving the Lord. And I love seeing how through each other they grow closer to Jesus. It's been a little different for me. I haven't been so easily distracted by guys. Instead my focus has been on growing in the Lord and how I can serve him best. He's given me the desire for a husband and family that I've earnestly prayed for in his perfect time. But my prayer for my future marriage is that God would be glorified in it and that he would use us together as we serve him in ways he couldn't have used as alone. That is my heart's desire for my marriage.

Lord thank you for sparing my heart and mind from guy distractions. I have surrendered this part of my life to you. Thank you for writing my love story. Be with my future husband, guide him in all his ways and draw him closer to you. Bless my future kids, may they grow up with their hearts captivated by you. May they see your hand on our family and understand the high calling you've placed on their lives. Prepare me now to be the wife and mother you've called me to be.

Guarding My Heart from What My Eyes Interpret

2010-03-21T12:03:00.000-07:00

Joshua 9:12 - "This bread was hot from the ovens when we left. But now as you can see, it is dry and moldy."

Perception can be everything. It is easy to let our eyes make all our decisions. Naturally, we see the world thru our eyes and often judge a book by its cover. But the process of transformation is putting on the mind of Christ and seeing the world thru his eyes. The Israelites were too easily convinced by the outward appearance of the Gibeonites that they made a wrong decision. I pray that I wouldn't be so easily persuaded/deceived by what I see with my eyes. It is easy to fall in love with someone based on their outward appearance including their personality and what they say with their mouth. But I pray that the Lord would allow me to discern their heart and see them the way he does. Lord guard my heart from my eyes interpret. Help me not to get caught up in merely what I see, but to allow you to reveal truth to me.

Wrong Pride

2010-03-20T11:53:00.000-07:00

1 Corinthians 5:2 - And you are so proud of yourselves! Why aren't you mourning in sorrow and shame? And why haven't you removed this man from your fellowship?

The church in Corinth allowed one of their members to live in sin, sexual sin, by living with his father's wife. They weren't ashamed of it, they were actually proud of it! When first reading it I instantly understood their pride because I could relate. They were proud to say that one of their own was living like the world. They probably thought it was a great connection or way to reach into the lives of those in their society. Yet they had it all wrong as Paul pointed out in verses 9-11. They were to reach out to those living in sin, but once they came to the Lord they shouldn't tolerate that sin anymore.

It's easy to be proud of people struggling with sin because it is a natural connection to the world. Churches boast of the type of people they have in their care. It's almost like their past is more valued then their future. It can leave people without drastic pasts to belittle their testimony. And it can also cause the laying on of hands to happen too quickly. As Paul reminds them - if one person is allowed to go on sinning, soon all will be affected. Achan's single sin in Joshua 7:13 caused the death of 26 Israelites. I don't want to be so proud of people's pasts that I actually fail to help them stop living in sin, even if it is small. Their small sin will son affect the overall group/church. I need to be especially aware of this among the youth. I am "proud" of my connection with those living in sin, but I need to focus more on discipling them instead of just connecting with them.

Lord help me to see where this is true, not to be blind to it. Help me to put my pride in you and your ability to save those from their sins. Help me to know what a healthy connection to the world looks like so that you can reach the lost through me.

Heart Position

2010-03-11T00:55:00.000-08:00

Deuteronomy 17:18 - When he sits on the throne as king, he must copy these laws on a scroll for himself in the presence of the Levitical priests.

Moses gives the Israelites guidelines from the Lord before they enter the Promised Land. In fact most of Deuteronomy is basically a lecture of reminders from the Lord before receiving the Promise. I wonder if at first it seemed overwhelming, which is why Moses wrote it down so it could always be referred to. God addresses not just the present, but also the future and the "what-ifs." God knew that they would one day want a king, even though he preferred to speak through a prophet. He knew their hearts and their desire to be like other nations. But he also knew the potential of a king who when given the power and authority could easily stray from God's ways. One of the kings first assignments on the throne was to copy by hand the laws of God. He could easily hire someone to do this for him, but God required it to be done in the presence of the priests. By writing it himself it would be engrained on his heart and it would be the foundation for the Lord to speak to and thru Him. How could he possibly hear from God without a clear understanding of his ways? It's hard to imagine a president sitting down and hand-writing the constitution, bill or tights, amendments, or any new laws that Congress passes. He hardly has time to read them - that's what his staff are there for - to read every word and bring him a concise summary.

When placed in a high position, it is easy to think of some things as beneath you. Actually, when placed in any position, there always seems to be things beneath you - whether it be a job position, a relationship position, an age position, a financial position, or an experience position. Yet as a servant of the Lord God nothing can be beneath me. Nothing can be too simple, ordinary, or a waste of time if the Lord is asking me to do it. It is in those times that I will truly understand His ways. I need to be more open to whatever the Lord may ask of me. My desire is to continue to understand his ways by daily writing down, observing, and applying His word. I long for my desire to know His word to increase.

Lord help me to understand your ways and to always see myself as your servant. Not in the sense that I allow people to walk over me, but that I understand my position in your eyes, not afraid to get on my hands and knees to do something someone else could easily be doing. Renew my mind and my heart and help me to thrive in the position you've placed me in right now. Help me to make a forever investment, even though I won't be here forever. I love you.

Everything I Do is About You

2010-03-09T00:45:00.000-08:00

Deuteronomy 11:19 - Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are away on a journey, when you are lying down and when you are getting up again.

There are many blessings that come with obedience. Before entering the Promised Land God was sure to remind the people of these blessings thru Moses. God did not want them to live half-hearted mediocre lives. His design was for every part of their lives to be about Him. No matter what they did, it should point back to God. So much so that even their very thoughts would change. Once they understood God's commands, they were to write them on their hearts in memorization by declaring them on the door posts of their houses and talking about them with their children. It was to become so much apart of them that even on their vacations/journeys they were to talk about and walk in God's commandments.

Many people practice their faith primarily on Sundays, often without even realizing it. They lead mediocre lives not fully understanding the fullness of blessings that come with complete obedience - obedience that affects every detail of life, even (and especially) our thoughts. Reading this verse reminded me of my childhood. My parents set a wonderful example for me in living out my faith in every area of life. When we went on vacation, we always went to a church to see how God was working in that area/culture. We even made one of our vacations a mission trip! Life is so fulfilling when it's all about the Lord. I need to make my conversations more intentionally about Jesus. When I am lying down and getting up I want to be meditating on the ways of the Lord.

Lord give me heart like yours. Help me to surrender every detail of my life to you. I want everything I do to be about you. Show me how I can do this today. I love you so much.

Fighting for the Promise

2010-03-06T19:55:00.000-08:00

Deuteronomy 3:22 - Do not be afraid of the nations there, for the Lord your God will fight for you.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed and under-qualified for the task at hand? Yet you know God has called you to it and you wonder how it will all work out. That's how the Israelites felt as they were given the Promised Land. The Lord didn't just vacate the area for them. They had to actively pursue it. Yet it was their promise from the Lord, so there was no way they could lose it. And Moses reminded them that God would fight for them.

Sometimes I wonder why we even have to be around for the "fighting." Why couldn't God just go before us and completely prepare the way so we could just enjoy it all? Why did the Israelites have to clear the land God was giving them? Well for one it gave them ownership of it and it wasn't in vain. God had so much to teach them along the way in the process of receiving the promise. The same is true in my life. God never said it would be easy to fulfill the call he has placed on my life, but he did say he would never leave me to do it on my own. What a beautiful picture. God goes before me and orders my steps while still staying ever present with me, fighting my battles for me as I daily learn to cast all my burdens on him.

Oh Lord how I love you. I love your ways and how you are for me. You are my everything and I am so grateful for your presence in my life. Help me to pursue your promise and call above all else. Give me an increased desire to do your will.

Boundaries of a Promise

2010-03-04T19:50:00.000-08:00

Numbers 34:2 - "Give these instructions to the Israelites: When you come into the land of Canaan, which I am giving you as your special possession, these will be the boundaries."

The Israelites have finally reached the Promised Land. They aren't just given the land with freedom to do as they please. The Lord sets up clear boundaries for them, not just physical land ones, but also guidelines for living. I never really thought of a fulfillment of a promise having boundaries. Promise means freedom, yet that freedom comes with boundaries. I need to be more aware of the boundaries the Lord is creating in each new season of my life. Even when I reach a fulfillment of a promise or an assignment the Lord has given me, he doesn't leave me on my own to just enjoy it. His presence is actually made even more evident as he sets guidelines within the promise. "You must not defile the land where you are going to live, for I love there myself" (35:34). The Lord lives in the promise - I love that! Thank you Lord for never leaving me and for always guiding me. Thank you for your faithfulness in my life, it has been proven true so many times. Help me to see the boundaries you have set in place for me this season in Hawaii and help me to walk in them. Thank you for leading me here and fulfilling this dream you placed in my heart. I love you so very much and look forward to all our adventures to come.

Thinking Outside the Box

2010-02-25T19:35:00.000-08:00

Mark 4:1 - Once again Jesus began teaching by the lakeshore. A very large crowd soon gathered around him, so he got into a boat. Then he sat in the boat while all the people remained on the shore.

Jesus' fame spread quickly and soon the crowds were uncontrollable. He was like a modern day celebrity who had a hard time finding privacy. But it didn't bother him, he came to save the people and he welcomed the crowds. Here he is preaching by the lake and drawing a growing crowd. As he speaks the crowd multiplies. He had to act quickly so that no one would miss any of his teaching. It doesn't say where the boat came from or who thought of the idea. Maybe they anticipated the crowd and the boat was there for backup. Or maybe one of his disciples saw the growing crowd and creatively solved the problem by borrowing a boat for Jesus. It doesn't really matter how it came about because the goal was accomplished. Jesus was able to share his message in the most effective creative way possible.

What a great lesson for me in being creative and taking initiative. It's hard to anticipate and prepare for something I've never experienced or been apart of before. How would the disciples know that that many people would show up that day? This isn't to say that I should strive to know the details of the future, but rather to prepare my heart and mind for the unexpected. To be flexible enough to allow fro change and be open and creative enough to accommodate change. It would have been easy for Jesus to keep talking on the shore, not really concerned with the people in the back who couldn't see or hear. But that would have been a partial fulfillment of God's purpose for that day and time. I don't want to settle for the easier way or the normal way of doing things. I want to be able to shift my way of thinking at a moment's notice and allow the Holy Spirit to work creatively thru me to bring a new idea to accomplish the purposes of God. That is my heart's desire - to be inspired in everything I do. To understand the proven ways of doing things but also be able to try new ways of doing things in my daily ministry of the Lord.

Lord overflow within me my capacity for creativity. Help me to think outside the box, beyond the safeness of the shore. Shape my heart to be like yours with an underlying understanding of your purposes. So that I can accomplish your purposes in the most effective way possible. Holy Spirit fill me afresh everyday so that I will be inspired to do things in ways I never considered before. Open my eyes and mind as we continue this beautiful journey together. I love you with all my heart, forever.

Called Regardless

2010-02-22T16:25:00.000-08:00

Numbers 11:26 - Two men, Eldad and Medad, had stayed behind in the camp. They were listed among the elders, but they had not gone out to the Tabernacle. Yet the Spirit rested upon them as well, so they prophesied there in the camp.

Moses became overburdened as the leader of God's people. He listened to their complaints night and day and he constantly had to defend them in the presence of the Lord. The load became far too heavy for him to bear (v. 15). So the Lord asked Moses to bring together 70 leaders who were already recognized as leaders in the community. They were appointed to carry the burden with Moses and in order to equip them, he sent his sprit to rest upon them. They were set apart for this specific purpose and nothing could keep them from this calling. For some reason two of the elders were not gathered with the rest at the time of meting. Maybe their families unexpectedly needed them that morning or maybe someone in their community was in need and as already established leaders they were called upon. Whatever the reason, they were unable to make it to the meeting. Yet they were called and nothing could keep them from that calling, not even physical location. They were anointed and received the Spirit just as the other elders did at the Tabernacle. This is so encouraging to me as physical location has been such a concern for me in pursuing the calling the Lord has placed over my life. I am learning that location is only a small part of calling. It is not the make it or break it determining factor in fulfilling the call God has given me. I love this truth. Lord help me to understand my calling is not based on my physical location, but rather the unchanging nature of who you are. Nothing can hinder your call on my life and for that I am grateful. Thank you for calling me and setting me apart as a leader commissioned to do your work. Give me a clearer picture of this call and what it looks like these next 5 years. Direct my steps dear Jesus.

Divine Affirmation

2010-02-19T16:18:00.000-08:00

Acts 26:32 - And Agrippa said to Festus, "He could have been set free if he hadn't appealed to Caesar."

I used to read this and think how tragic for Paul. He could have found freedom so much easier and sooner. I know God always has a plan in everything and he works all things together for good for those who love him and are called according to his purposes (Romans 8:28). But I often wonder if what happened was God's best or just something he uses to bring us back to his best. That's how I saw this tragedy - as something God ultimately used that wasn't necessarily his best. Now that I think about it, I believe I was wrong. You see, Paul received divine affirmation to go to Rome (Acts 23:11). He heard directly from the Lord and he knew that was the direction God was leading. It wasn't about getting there on his own as a free citizen. It was about going there to testify in Jesus' name and preach the Good News. That opportunity would not have come if he hadn't appealed to Caesar. It was part of God's best and Paul knew it because he received divine affirmation. He was more concerned with carrying out God's plan for his life then becoming free form imprisonment. He had his priorities in order and he knew exactly what God called him to. Wow, what a perspective change for me! It's not about the easy or good life, it's truly about fulfilling God's purposes no matter what the cost. Lord help me to know where "Rome" is for me. I need divine affirmation from you so I can clearly seek your purpose for my life. Please put everything into perspective for me and help me to see where you are leading me, whether it be a specific place, ministry position, or mindset.

Deeper Conversation

2010-02-10T15:13:00.000-08:00

Acts 17:32 - When they heard Paul speak of the resurrection of a person who had been dead, some laughed, but others said, "We want to hear more about this later."

Paul shared about Jesus in Athens to a group who loved to spend all their time discussing the latest ideas. He effectively reached them in their culture, but when he got to the deep stuff, the foundations of the gospel, he lost some people. They laughed it off. That's happened to me before. I'll be sharing with someone and as I'm getting into the serious or important part of the conversation, they don't take it seriously and just laugh. It's disappointing when I can't reach a certain depth with someone. It's like they can only go so far in conversation and in our relationship. I wonder if God often feels the same way. It's easy to have great conversations with him because he knows me better then I know myself. Yet I wonder how often I keep our relationship from reaching a new depth because I just laugh. I laugh at the mention of anything out of my comfort zone or at something beyond my way of thinking. I really need to open my mind and my heart to the ways of God and not stay stuck in the limited knowledge I have of his ways of working. Lord forgive me for keeping our relationship from going to a deeper level whether because of my insecurities, rebellion, or lack of knowledge. I yearn to know you more, to understand your ways. That is my heart's desire - to truly understand you. I want to be an open vessel for you to flow freely through. Increase our conversations and help me today to not get caught up in my ways but to seek you and your ways. I love you with all my heart.

Valuing Presence Over Promise

2010-02-02T14:38:00.000-08:00

Exodus 33:15 - Then Moses said, "If you don't go with us personally, don't let us move a step from this place."

The Lord was going to send the people into the Promised Land alone because he was fed up with them. They continued to complain and then went so far as to abandon the Lord by making a golden calf to worship. If it wasn't for Moses, the Lord would have destroyed the people right then and there. So God spared them but still didn't want to go with them any further. Moses weighed the options and cried out to the Lord. The Promised Land meant nothing compared to the presence of the Lord. It was just land to live in without God's presence. He knew that if God wasn't with them they would have no reason to live and find no fulfillment in the land.

It is easy to focus more on pursuing the promise then seeking the Lord's presence. I often get so caught up in going after a dream that I neglect to really see if the Lord's presence has gone before me to prepare the way. He may be leading a different way or it might not be his timing. When I value his promise over his presence I am living outside his will. I want to really yearn for his presence to the point that I won't move on without it like Moses. The fulfillment of all my dreams doesn't even compare to living in the Lord's presence. That is where I always want to be. Lord thank you for your presence that is always with me. Help me to value you more then your promises so that I can be where you are working, not where my dreams are. Fill me with your presence everyday. I long to live in it every moment. I love you.

A Little at a Time

2010-01-29T14:19:00.000-08:00

Exodus 23: 29, 30 - But I will not do this all in one year because the land will become a wilderness, and the wild animals would become too many to control. I will drive them out a little at a time until your population has increased enough to fill the land.

God knew his people better then they knew themselves. As he lead them to the Promised Land he knew what types of things would cause them to act out of fear and what would cause them to complain. He just knew everything and therefore knew what was best. So he didn't give them the entire land all at once. They wouldn't be able to handle it all and it would cause them to miss out on some of the blessing of the fruit and abundance of the land. God even told them they wouldn't get it all at once, but a little at a time until they were ready to handle more. I love that about God. He knows me better then I know myself. He knows what gets me frustrated and what can cause me to doubt his ways. So he protects me and leads me in a way that I can handle. He only reveals a little of his plan to get me going in the right direction. If I knew it all at once I would not only be overwhelmed, but it would cause me to miss out on some of the blessing and probably some of the growth intended for me in each season. So even though I wish I knew where God was leading, I am grateful that He is in control and He knows me better then I will ever know myself. I love you Lord. Thank you for protecting me, often even from myself. Help me to be content with what I know and where you have me in this season. You are my everything.

Acting in Faith Instead of Just Waiting in Faith

2010-01-26T13:56:00.000-08:00

Exodus 14:15 - Then the Lord said to Moses, "Why are you crying out to me? Tell the people to get moving!"

The Israelites were barely 3 days out of Egypt when they faced their first trial. It was a trial to bring glory to the Lord but they didn't really understand it or see it that way. Instead they complained to Moses, the first of many complaints. But Moses knew what was happening and believed in faith that he and his people would be safe. He told the people to stand where they are and watch the Lord rescue them (v. 13). "The Lord himself will fight for you. You won't have to lift a finger in your defense!" (v. 14). Moses was right in saying they wouldn't have to defend themselves, but that doesn't mean they could just stand where they were and watch God rescue them. "Faith without good works is dead and useless" (James 2:17). As Moses felt the pressure, he cried out to the Lord and the Lord said, "why are you crying out to me? Tell the people to get moving!" They couldn't walk in faith and stand there doing nothing. Faith becomes faith when it is acted upon. Reminds me of when I cry out to the Lord - "why aren't you doing what you said you would? Why is nothing happening? I'm feeling the pressure, I believe in you, but I'm starting to worry." God would say the same thing to me - "Why are you crying out to me? We had this talk, act on what I have spoken and watch me work in your life." It may not mean doing something drastic, but simply taking the next step and turning my belief into action. Lord help me to know how to act out my faith in you and in your promises. My heart's desire is to live in your presence and live out your calling on my life. Help me to clearly see where you are leading me. I love you with all my heart.

Taking the Long Way Around

2010-01-25T01:27:00.000-08:00

Exodus 13:17 - When Pharaoh finally let the people go, God did not lead them on the road that runs through Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest way from Egypt to the Promised Land.

The Israelites were finally free to go to the Promised Land. They were free from slavery and ready to follow the Lord wherever he lead them. I wonder if they knew the lay of the land and what was the shortest route to the Promised Land. If they didn't know at the beginning they probably figured it out eventually. When looking at a map God's direction and leading didn't really make sense. Yet he was protecting them from their own tendency to be overcome by fear. And not only that he had a lot to teach them in the wilderness. After all they had just been reacquainted with their God and they had a lot of catching up to do. God knew the Israelites better then they knew themselves. So he lead them the "long way" to the Promised Land. Sometimes I wonder if God is taking me the long way. I guess it depends on my perspective and where I think my destination is. But when I reflect on the dreams he has given me, I wonder sometimes why he takes me along the longest route possible to fulfill them. Of course there is much to learn along the way, but I still get impatient. I really need to trust the Lord even when it doesn't logically or even long term make sense to me. I need to learn to recallibrate my compass daily as I'm prone to always look for the shortest route possible. And also understand that time is not an issue. Lord I trust you with my dreams - you are free to change them, hold them, or fulfill them. All I am is yours and I want to follow you wherever you lead even if it is the longest road ever. Lord help me to see everything thru your eyes and your perspective. I surrender control of my dreams to you. I want your presence to go with me more than I want the fulfillment of the dreams you have given me.

When Discouragement Sets In

2010-01-23T01:21:00.000-08:00

Exodus 6:9 - So Moses told the people what the Lord had said, but they wouldn't listen anymore. They had become too discouraged by the increasing burden of their slavery.

Moses boldly approached Pharaoh but it didn't work out quite as he hoped. As a result of Moses' boldness the Israelites received harsher demands in the labor, so harsh that they couldn't possibly complete their daily tasks. They were all for being freed from slavery, but they didn't anticipate the extra challenge along the way. And when it came they lost sight of the goal and allowed discouragement to outweigh any hope. They even received a direct promise from God through Moses but they couldn't even listen to it anymore because the increasing burden of their slavery. I know I am often too discouraged to see beyond where I am right now. In my heart I know God's plans for me expand beyond my present season. But I allow myself to get discouraged by the burden of the season in the present. Instead of acting upon God's promises for my future, I become stagnant in my surroundings. I don't want to live this way but often I don't know how to act on the belief that there is something more in the future. Lord how am I supposed to be preparing for what comes next when I don't even know what it is? I know you've asked me to remain faithful to my calling this season, but how do I do that without feeling stuck or stagnant? Please renew my vision and help me to find encouragement in you. Help me not to take my future in my own hands but to act on your direction and your guidance. Help my discontent to urge me to get involved in new areas where you are working.

Acting out of Inaccuracy

2010-01-20T01:13:00.000-08:00

Genesis 50:17 - When Joseph received the message, he broke down and wept.

Jacob had just died and his sons became afraid of Joseph, afraid that he would repay them for selling him into slavery, so much so that they felt it necessary to forge a message from their father to protect themselves. When Joseph received the letter he broke down and wept. His brothers still did not understand and it broke his heart. What they meant for harm was really used as good by God. He allowed God to deal with any hard feelings he had toward his brothers long ago. He simply loved them and reassured them he was not looking for any kind of justice. I've shed many tears out of hurt from people not understanding my heart or who I really am. It is painful when people misunderstand us or when they believe something about us that is not true. And then I wonder how God feels when we don't understand him and his ways. It probably breaks his heart when people blame him for the pain in their lives because it shows an incomplete and inaccurate picture of his character. This seems to be a recurring theme in my devotions - truly understanding and knowing God's character. Just like I am hurt when someone doesn't understand me, God hurts when we don't seek to understand him. He cries out to me "I am here, just ask me how I do things and you will see." Lord help me not to be so easily hurt by people. I know you know me better then anyone ever will and that is all I need - for you to get me and know me. I desire to know you more. Renew my mind and the way I think about you. Give me a correct understanding of who you are and how you work.

Guarding Against Influence

2010-01-19T01:04:00.000-08:00

Luke 19:20 - But the third servant brought back only the original amount of money and said "I hid it and kept it safe."

Jesus told a parable about a soon coming king who went away and gave his servants money to invest while he was gone. One servant ended up doing nothing with his share because he was afraid. Before the king left there was a group of people who hated him and even sent a delegation after him to say they did not want him to be their king. That one servant who was entrusted with money unknowingly allowed these people to influence him. He began to believe their rumors and mistook them for truth. He allowed them to keep him from investing his money and obeying the king, his master. I never realized the role of influence these people had in the parable. They kept the one servant from fully living out his potential and serving the king. I must be careful not to fall into the same trap. It's easy to allow those around me to influence me and make me believe something that is not true about God's character or the way he works, especially if they mean well. I really need to guard my heart and stay in close communication with the Lord so I do not allow falsehood to keep me from using what the Lord has given me. All that matters is what God asks me to do. I should not allow the voices of others to keep me from obeying the voice of my king. Lord help me not to be influenced by anyone but you. Help me to surround myself with people who will constantly point me to you. Give me mentors who will speak your truth in my life.

Yearning for Understanding

2010-01-18T00:54:00.000-08:00

Luke 18:34 - But they didn't understand a thing he said. Its significance was hidden from them, and they failed to grasp what he was talking about.

The disciples were slow learners. The process of renewing their minds took quite some time, so Jesus had to have all the patience in the world just to put up with them. It's actually a good thing the disciples were slow to understand because it gives me hope. Wisdom is a daily thing, part of growing as I walk with the Lord. It is hard not to be conformed to the ways of the world because often they are so ingrained and evident around us. Yet God calls us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2). This renewing will open our eyes to the ways God works and give us understanding beyond our years and beyond our capability. It says in Matthew 10:26 that there is nothing concealed that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. All knowledge and understanding is available to us if we seek the Lord. For it is He who reveals the profound and hidden things (Daniel 2:22). Jesus plainly spoke to his disciples about his coming death yet they failed to grasp what he was talking about. They were focused on other things - probably trying to figure out the Kingdom of God and what it would look like on earth or too focused on the present ministry taking place that they couldn't see beyond tomorrow.

I wonder how often the Lord speaks to me and I fail to really grasp it. Jesus says seek and you will find, ask and it will be given to you, knock and the door will be opened to you. The disciples heard Jesus predict his death yet they never asked him about it. Jesus wants to open up the heavens to us, he wants to walk closely with me and share his heart with me. Sometimes I am too busy to really listen or if I do listen I fail to understand because I do not pursue knowledge. I want to be a lifelong learner who daily soaks up understanding like a sponge. I probably miss out on joining God in his work because I fail to grasp what he is doing. I resolve to actively change that this year. Lord help me to seek out understanding, to seek you daily. Forgive me for not desiring to understand your ways. Give me that unquenchable desire to understand your ways. Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained (Proverbs 29:18). I do not want to live without your guidance and understanding Lord. I want to walk in your vision and see you working because of an understanding of your character and the way you work. Thank you for your patience and grace to keep explaining when I don't understand. I love you with all my heart.