Independent yet Submitted

1 Kings 21:25 - No one else so completely sold himself to what was evil in the Lord's sight as Ahab did under the influence of his wife Jezebel.

Jezebel is an interesting character included in the Bible. She gives women a bad reputation. But I think there is a lot that we can learn from her life. She was very determined and controlling. When she first married Ahab she took over by bringing her idols. She did not care about her new husband or serving his God, she simply wanted the power and perks of being married to a king. Even when she saw the mighty power of God working through Elijah she became even more determined against him. It's crazy how a desire for independence and personal strength can turn into a pride that is out of control fueled by a hunger for power. As a woman in her culture, she probably thought she had to prove herself that she was good and strong enough to lead. The only way to do that was through her husband. So instead of submitting to him in a way belonging to the Lord (Colossians 3:18), she controlled him and made decisions for him. That is not how God intended it to be, yet it is an easy trap to fall into in our culture. The feminist mindset is so prevalent in the U.S. It shapes women to be independent and rely on their own inner strength. Although I believe there is truth in the movement and even Jesus himself could be considered one of the first feminists (in the way he valued women and called them to be part of his ministry), it is something I must guard my heart in. As I grow older and see many of my friends getting married, I am starting to pride myself more on my ability to be independent and successful on my own. That can become so important to me that I forget I am not successful on my own, that without the Lord working in me I am weak. Although I am independent in some sense, I am very dependent on the Lord in every way. I do not want to fall into the feminist hole of power that Jezebel allowed to rule her life. I want to continually learn what submitting to the Lord looks like and how to dependent on him. I may not be successful in the world's feminist lens, but that doesn't matter. As long as I am continually being shaped and formed in the Lord's hands, I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I need to learn to be balanced in the Lord - not to lean too much on the side of feminist independence nor too much on just waiting around for a husband to be dependent on. But I do want the Lord to teach me now what it means to be submitted to him so when the time comes I can properly submit to my husband. I know he has put a passionate and determined spirit in me and I pray that he shapes that to bring honor to him now as I am still single and in the future to compliment (not control) my husband. Imagine if Jezebel had loved the Lord - she could have such great influence over Ahab and together they could have been so successful. Lord show me how you are shaping me this season as independent yet fully dependent on you. Bring balance in every way in my life. I need you to shape me into who you've created me to be so I can fulfill the high calling you've placed on my life. Help me to guard my heart and mind to the feminist worldview that is so prevalent around me.